Picking up where we last left off, you will remember that at World Mandate, I felt God calling me to Uganda, and was preparing to start Elevate (the first year of schooling in preparation for the mission field...the school Sharon and David are in now...). All the while, searching for this "retail job" that God put me on a mission to find. I have gotten a whole new appreciation for the job hunting process through it all, that's for sure (for those of you that don't know, I have never had to "look" for a job - there has always just been some kind of hook up...usually involving Mama and someone she knows through her business dealings :) ).
I am going to be hopping all over the place, because #1, that's just how I am ;), and #2, I am trying to get everything out to you in a way that makes some kind of sense... :)
Now to begin...
John & Brandy Seago
Brandy, a friend from Georgia, got married January 3rd, and as God would have it, moved just up the road (about an hour and half) from me after her honeymoon! :) Her husband is originally from Texas, and he is doing an awesome thing and working with Texas Right to Life (http://www.texasrighttolife.com/) so they settled here! :) The Monday after World Mandate, she and I were able to catch up over the phone, and made plans for me to come visit and have lunch Wednesday of the next week, and then planned a "Girls' Time" the week after that, where I would get there on Tuesday night and stay through Thursday morning, while John was in Austin for his job. I was thrilled, and couldn't wait to see her and really get caught up on everything! :)
Brandy and John's story is "one for the books" - this couple nailed it! And by the grace of God! It is truly a story to stand in awe of! God has richly blessed them, both as individuals, and as a couple. I feel so thankful to have the chance to have them right up the road! :)
I have been able to hear their story from afar, as they were at school in North Carolina when they met in 2007, and I continued to keep up via text, occassional phone calls, and Facebook, but never had the opportunity to see them together in person until after they were married and moved up the road! :) I feel like God definitely ordained that, because I have learned much from watching the two of them - both together and apart in the last few weeks.
Backstory...
Over the last several months, God has really been breaking me of my old ways of viewing marriage and relationships, and even breaking my urge to be in a relationship. As I have had the privilege of seeing some of the couples around Antioch date, become engaged and get married, all while keeping God at the center, I have continued to stand in utter amazement!
I had begun to see marriage as something so special and precious! A beautiful, rare jewel that you prepared for and searched for most of your life, and once it is in your "possession," you hold it as special and precious! You hold it separate from the other things that once captivated your time, energy, money and emotions! You polish it regularly, but you pay such close attention to it, that you notice immediately if the shine appears to be dimming, and do everything you can to get it back to it's previous glory! Ah! How glorious it is when God's hand is upon it!
I began to have bits and pieces of these thoughts, and even thoughts clarifying the other side - why there is so much divorce and unhappiness in marriages across the world today - so that I could completely appreciate the beauty in what God was giving me! :)
It all came together for me as I saw Brandy and John together! For the first time in my life, instead of being so immensely jealous of what they had, I was filled with awe, and became resolved, even excited, to wait! :) There is no way that someone could look at these two, after knowing their story - a story of redemption, renewal, refreshment and a love so pure that the only source it possibly could have come from is God - and not be overwhelmed by the goodness of our God, and become excited to wait for your own "fairy tale come true!" :) Every time I saw him look at her, or her look at him, to see them hug, kiss and hold hands...each precious moment was a gift from God! And to see the beauty of that, to truly appreciate how awesome life can be if it is lived in the complete will of God, for the first time completely humbled me.
John & Brandy Seago
I will not settle for less than what God has for me, but I also have to take care to completely allow God to take over my life as it is now, so that I might become His best for my future husband! :) I cannot hold any part of who I am back from Him - it all has to be given straight into His hands! It hasn't been easy, and daily I am having to remind myself - mostly regarding the "little things" - that it's not mine to worry about or question. It is all His! And that, even though scary at first because I don't have mine grubby little hands on it, becomes soooooo utterly freeing! All I have to do is say "yes!" and follow in His footsteps on the path He's walking before me! How much simpler can it get? :D
So, on the way back from Brandy's last Thursday morning, God and I were having a conversation - well...mostly it was me dumping upon Him the anxieties of my heart concerning the next year or two of my life - and I just got this overwhelming peace. As I was sitting there explaining to Him how hard it would be to get all the money together I would need for schooling and the mission field - especially when Sharon and David are going first, and she will have already gotten support from those we know that are able to give, and I just didn't know how in the world I was ever going to be able to do all this. It isn't that I'm not willing to go - I've even gotten excited! But the fear of being financially unstable was starting to settle in... He said, "Vanessa. My precious girl. Just wait." I, of course, was not content in that, and had to be my true self and ask, "Wait for what?" What came next humbled me, and made me give myself a handsmack - he said, "Vanessa. I never told you to go to Elevate this Fall. You just assumed you were supposed to immediately go into training since you knew where you would be going, but that isn't the case." There was a pause while I was being humbled before Him, and letting everything sink in, and then, "Do you not remember what I gave you?"
I spent the entire rest of the drive home trying to figure out what in the world He was talking about. He certainly wasn't giving me any hints, but that didn't stop me from trying to get it out of Him! :)
During my conviction of becoming God's best for my future husband, I was convicted to take walks regularly. I decided it sounded like a good plan for me and Spooky to do this together, since we both can use fresh air and excercise - and because it's not much fun to walk by yourself...and Spooky is a great listener! :D Friday was our first day to walk, and we had a wonderful time! It has been incredibly cold around here lately, but that didn't stop us! We bundled up, packed our "bathroom bag" - a WalMart bag with four folded-up paper towels :) Can't litter, ya know! :) - and took off! We've walked every day since, for at least 45 minutes, and it has been wonderful! Not only has it given Spooky and me a great time to just be outside and enjoying God's beautiful creation - even when His creation is freezing! :) - but it has also given me wonderful opportunities for amazing conversations with my Creator!
So, Friday we went out to walk, and I was still trying to figure out what God had given me that I was supposed to remember...when He showed me again...
The week after World Mandate was a miserable week! I started the week just thinking I was completely run down and tired after the weekend we had had, but as the week progressed, and nothing was getting better, I quickly realized I was sick. Wednesday night came, and with it LifeGroup. We stood up for worship, I sank right back into my seat - the room was spinning, and I was burning up. My throat had been a major source of pain, as had my left ear. I felt a trembly, cold hand on me, and knew that Ashley was praying over me. I moved her hand to my neck and ear where the pain was, and just settled in, knowing God was in control! As she was praying, it was as if I was completely removed from that room, that house, that place...I was taken in to a picture.
I was in a very small room. It had an earthen floor. I was sitting in a very primitive wooden chair - 4 straight posts, with the back two coming up a little higher than my shoulders, and a woven straw seat - and there was a dark skinned woman sitting in a similar chair, directly across from me - not more than 5 feet could have separated us. Just to the right of where I was sitting, and equal distance between me and the other woman was a pale pink blanket, and on it was a dark skinned little girl - just a baby really, but old enough to be sitting up on her own. She was happy as a lark and playing with some kind of wooden toy. Off to my left, and behind the other woman was a door. As we were sitting there, the door opened and a little boy appeared there - he was holding a man's pointer finger with his right hand, and was walking, but not completely steady. He had the creamiest, most beautiful skin, blonde hair and big, beautiful blue eyes! He was absolutely beautiful! When I looked over and saw him, I clapped my hands together, and said, "Look at Mama's big boy!" When I spoke, he looked up (he had been concentrating on getting in the door), his face broke into a heart-melting grin, and he began to speed walk toward me, all the while dragging "the finger" along with him! :) It was a beautiful picture! But I had no idea what it meant, so I just enjoyed it, and filed it away.
God "replayed" it for me that Friday morning, and when it was over said, "Vanessa. Uganda is not just for you. It is for your family. You won't go alone." Whoo! :D Can we say excitement?!?!?! So I am absolutely thrilled about that! :) Cause not only am I not going alone, but I am going to have a husband, and a child!!! :D
Saturday morning, as we were walking, God gave me the title of a book I am to write!!! :D Holy cow! Can you believe it??? And He also gave me the picture for the book cover...although at this time I'm not sure how to get it out of my head...cause I can't draw very well...so I'm just waiting to see what He does with that! :) I have begun to put thoughts down on paper - though at this point it wouldn't make sense to anyone but me...and sometimes I don't even know where it came from when I go back and read over it (and then I remember that God has His hand in all, and He's the one that's really writing it anyway :) )! But I'm extremely happy about this opportunity! :)
Also...
I am now discipling Samantha. God had put it on my heart, and then Ashley brought it up to me as well, after Sharon had mentioned something about it when we had a very confusing conversation where both of us were talking about two different things...weird...but a part of the plan! :) So, that started this week. I am hoping for us to find time Friday night or Saturday to get away for a couple of hours, and really start building that foundation. On Monday morning, we started doing her quiet time together - she wakes up and comes in my room and we talk about the day, and pray for the person she is to say something encouraging to that day, pray for her day, and send her out! :) It has been AWESOME! God is soooooo good! :)
And finally...
A matter of prayer... :) I have a job interview tomorrow with Target at 1p (CST) :)
I would definitely appreciate your prayers for that! :) Because I'm ready to get on out there! :)
Until next time...
I love you all, more than words could ever express,
~Vanessa
