...for a Spooky picture, so here he is! :)My precious puppy! My constant companion!
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
There was a request...
...for a Spooky picture, so here he is! :)My precious puppy! My constant companion!
It's my turn! 25...or 30...Random Things! :)
So, this "25 Random Things" note has been going all over Facebook. Heather tagged me to it, and I finally did it! :) It was posted a week or so on Facebook. But once again, trying to get everything all in one place! :)
1. I used to analyze everything to the point where I would drive myself crazy - I'm getting better :)
2. This past week has been the most amazing week I have had in as long as I can remember...it has just been awesome! :)
3. I have always wanted an older brother. The kind that are in movies and on television - the ones that are completely protective. That are always willing to listen. That are a shoulder to cry on when you've had your heart broken or your back stabbed.
4. I sometimes think it would have been easier if I had just never known my daddy. At least that way I would have just had the one disappointment of having a father that didn't care enough to be a part of my life, instead of the daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly disappointments...
5. I regret nothing that has happened in my life to this point. I am a firm believer in the thought that I wouldn't be the person I am right now without everything that's happened - good, bad and horrid - so, while it might have been nicer circumstances had some things been avoided...I wouldn't trade the life I've had for anything!
6. Though I would love to have a little girl one day that I can dress up and have "girl moments" with, my heart's desire is to be able to mommy two boys.
7. I know that I have a lot of quirks...but I believe with all my heart that God has someone for me that is going to completely embrace my quirks and love me all the more for them.
8. My favorite flower is the Gerbera daisy - but I HATED the ones that we (the girls) were given at our graduation. Our school colors were blue and orange, and the flowers were a icky orangish color and that were wilting before we even got them. I loved the ones my family had for me at my family graduation party - they were perky and a beautiful shade of pink! :)
9. I wish with all my heart that Heather and I had a "background" - if I think about it for too long, my heart begins to hurt when I think about the fact that I have a sister that strangers know better than I do...
10. I cannot wait to be an aunt! I pray that God will give me a husband that has several brothers and sisters, because I would love to have all kinds of nieces and nephews to spoil! :)
11. I am entirely too emotional - but I think I'm getting better...to a certain degree :)
12. Davis and Samantha hold a huge chunk of my heart. I often make the comment that I'm not sure how I will be able to love my own children any more than I love these two. I love the cuddles, the hugs, the kisses, the giggles, the stories, the conversations, the smiles...
13. I have already given Mama strict instructions as to things to tell any potential suitor to avoid when proposing. :) (I'm pretty set against the things that I am completely against for that moment...yes...I am entirely too picky...so God will change my heart toward that, or he will bring me a man that will feel the same way I do about the entire proposal :) ...I'm thinking the latter...)
14. Some nights, I lie in bed and pretend I'm back in Georgia. That I'm just across the house from Mama. That I'm just up the road from my family. I pretend like I am going to get up in the morning, and be able to walk straight through the living room and into Mama's bedroom to talk to her and tell her all about the day before.
15. It was harder leaving Georgia after visiting at Christmas than it was when I left in June to move here. I still haven't figured that one out... My lowest moment was when I walked into the house, the Sunday before I left on Monday, after I had been at church that morning crying through the entire service (Mama had stayed home because she was sick and coughing her head off), I walked through the door, into the living room and Mama was sitting on the couch. I completely lost it then. My heart was broken and nothing in this world could even come close to fixing it but my mama's arms wrapped around me, and her tears merging with mine.
16. Writing is cathartic for me. And surprisingly, I am much more open and honest with my writing when I am writing it publicly than if I am just writing it in a journal for myself.
17. Off and on I have thoughts of what it would be like to write for more than just myself. Imagining how wonderfully free I would feel being able to dedicate myself to a life of cleansing work... :) But then I realize that I really have no really imaginative or original thoughts, and that I just ramble a lot :)...so it isn't like I would be able to write things that people are just going to take to heart, laugh at, cry at or be blessed by. And I come back down to earth :)
18. I used to wonder when my "real" life was going to start...sometime in the last seven months, I realized that it started a long time ago, and it just took me realizing that to understand that it is time for me to start living every day to the max. It is imperative to appreciate every moment.
19. I have always wanted to go to Italy. Everything that I have ever seen, read, or heard about it just speaks to my soul! I am dying to see it with my own eyes! :) And I will get there one day! Even if God just flies me by on my way up to Heaven! :)
20. I put off doing this for over a week after Heather tagged me, because I knew it was going to turn into a very long, drawn out, soul-emptying session...and sure enough, I was correct :)
21. I have 15 photos in my room, and all of them are of my family.
13 of them are in black and white.
The two that are in color are for effect.
Black and white pictures are my absolute favorite.
I have three pictures on my walls.
One is in color and says: "Live life passionately, Laugh until your belly huts, Love unconditionally."
The other two are of trees - one is black and white and the other is in sepia tones.
Both pictures speak to something deep in my heart. Staring at them and "going into" them is how God speaks to the deep places many times.
22. This summer after moving here God and I had it out because I wanted to "get pictures" like everybody else at Antioch did, and He wasn't giving me any. Then I finally got one, and I was more excited than I've ever been over any physical gift I've been given! :) And now He uses pictures frequently to speak to me, and to allow me to speak into others.
23. God has been given me words for people here lately, and I still question what I'm hearing sometimes...but there is something special that happens when you obey, walk up to someone and give them the words and/or picture that God has given you for them. There is a radiant smile that breaks out on their face - a smile that comes from deep within. :) The smile is God's way of showing me that I wasn't hearing things incorrectly, that it was just what they needed to hear, and helping me gain boldness in getting quicker to obey so He can use me to bless more people, more frequently. :)
24. I absolutely love getting random texts from my friends! :) It makes my day! Cause it makes me feel like they were just sitting, going about their day, and then all of a sudden thought about me and took the time to send me a message :) It makes me feel completely loved and special :)
25. Sometimes I feel completely uneducated - especially in the moments when I let myself slip, and I sound like someone off the Beverly Hillbillies. But then God reminds me that He loves me no matter what. And He doesn't mind that I have a country twang, and that it gets even worse when I'm tired or am really emotional. And that He doesn't care that I can't have long philosophical or scientific conversations, cause He didn't make me for that. He made me to be personable and relational. And even though I didn't really used to like people that weren't in my immediate circle, He has definitely been working on that, and broadening my horizons.
26. I hate talking on the phone. Absolutely loathe it. I would rather spend two hours having a conversation via text message than have a 5 minute phone conversation. I think part of it is that I sometimes have an extremely hard time hearing and understanding people over the phone, and I get frustrated with myself. However, if you catch me at the right time, I can talk for hours - just ask Mama :)
27. I have taken a Folic Acid pill almost every day since 10th grade. I found out in my Early Childhood class about how one of the main reasons children are born with Spina Bifida is because of a lack of Folic Acid in the mother. Our teacher told us that when we got ready to start thinking about getting pregnant that we should start taking Folic Acid pills to aid in the process. So I just got a jump start on it and started then. However, if any of my children are born with Spina Bifida, I am going to have blown the Folic Acid myth out the window! :P
28. I love getting mail - snail mail. One of the best feelings is to open up the mailbox and have a package or letter in there with my name on it :) I used to really enjoy it when I lived in Georgia, but now that I'm out here, I really and truly love it.
29. After being able to see the purity and the entire presence of God in Brandy and John's and Amanda and Ed's relationships, I have determined that I am completely willing to wait for whomever God wants to send my way. To be able to glow radiantly like Brandy is after marrying her God-given prince, and to be able to "light up like a Christmas tree" as I have seen Amanda do every time Ed walks into her line of vision...it's worth the wait. Totally and completely.
30. And on that note, after seeing each of those couples together, and after having long talks with each of the women about their feelings toward their relationships, I have decided that if I don't get married until I'm 80, it's fine, as long as he is the one God has for me. I don't want to rush anything. The way these men look at them like they are the most precious thing in the world; the way they lead the relationships in the way God intended, and the way these Godly women fall into their roles so happily and beautifully! :) It just puts everything into perspective. :)
*I'm sorry this is so long. And if you stuck it out and read this entire thing, you deserve a medal! :)
**I am aware that I did a few more than 25...what can I say, I got in the groove, and just went with it :)
1. I used to analyze everything to the point where I would drive myself crazy - I'm getting better :)
2. This past week has been the most amazing week I have had in as long as I can remember...it has just been awesome! :)
3. I have always wanted an older brother. The kind that are in movies and on television - the ones that are completely protective. That are always willing to listen. That are a shoulder to cry on when you've had your heart broken or your back stabbed.
4. I sometimes think it would have been easier if I had just never known my daddy. At least that way I would have just had the one disappointment of having a father that didn't care enough to be a part of my life, instead of the daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly disappointments...
5. I regret nothing that has happened in my life to this point. I am a firm believer in the thought that I wouldn't be the person I am right now without everything that's happened - good, bad and horrid - so, while it might have been nicer circumstances had some things been avoided...I wouldn't trade the life I've had for anything!
6. Though I would love to have a little girl one day that I can dress up and have "girl moments" with, my heart's desire is to be able to mommy two boys.
7. I know that I have a lot of quirks...but I believe with all my heart that God has someone for me that is going to completely embrace my quirks and love me all the more for them.
8. My favorite flower is the Gerbera daisy - but I HATED the ones that we (the girls) were given at our graduation. Our school colors were blue and orange, and the flowers were a icky orangish color and that were wilting before we even got them. I loved the ones my family had for me at my family graduation party - they were perky and a beautiful shade of pink! :)
9. I wish with all my heart that Heather and I had a "background" - if I think about it for too long, my heart begins to hurt when I think about the fact that I have a sister that strangers know better than I do...
10. I cannot wait to be an aunt! I pray that God will give me a husband that has several brothers and sisters, because I would love to have all kinds of nieces and nephews to spoil! :)
11. I am entirely too emotional - but I think I'm getting better...to a certain degree :)
12. Davis and Samantha hold a huge chunk of my heart. I often make the comment that I'm not sure how I will be able to love my own children any more than I love these two. I love the cuddles, the hugs, the kisses, the giggles, the stories, the conversations, the smiles...
13. I have already given Mama strict instructions as to things to tell any potential suitor to avoid when proposing. :) (I'm pretty set against the things that I am completely against for that moment...yes...I am entirely too picky...so God will change my heart toward that, or he will bring me a man that will feel the same way I do about the entire proposal :) ...I'm thinking the latter...)
14. Some nights, I lie in bed and pretend I'm back in Georgia. That I'm just across the house from Mama. That I'm just up the road from my family. I pretend like I am going to get up in the morning, and be able to walk straight through the living room and into Mama's bedroom to talk to her and tell her all about the day before.
15. It was harder leaving Georgia after visiting at Christmas than it was when I left in June to move here. I still haven't figured that one out... My lowest moment was when I walked into the house, the Sunday before I left on Monday, after I had been at church that morning crying through the entire service (Mama had stayed home because she was sick and coughing her head off), I walked through the door, into the living room and Mama was sitting on the couch. I completely lost it then. My heart was broken and nothing in this world could even come close to fixing it but my mama's arms wrapped around me, and her tears merging with mine.
16. Writing is cathartic for me. And surprisingly, I am much more open and honest with my writing when I am writing it publicly than if I am just writing it in a journal for myself.
17. Off and on I have thoughts of what it would be like to write for more than just myself. Imagining how wonderfully free I would feel being able to dedicate myself to a life of cleansing work... :) But then I realize that I really have no really imaginative or original thoughts, and that I just ramble a lot :)...so it isn't like I would be able to write things that people are just going to take to heart, laugh at, cry at or be blessed by. And I come back down to earth :)
18. I used to wonder when my "real" life was going to start...sometime in the last seven months, I realized that it started a long time ago, and it just took me realizing that to understand that it is time for me to start living every day to the max. It is imperative to appreciate every moment.
19. I have always wanted to go to Italy. Everything that I have ever seen, read, or heard about it just speaks to my soul! I am dying to see it with my own eyes! :) And I will get there one day! Even if God just flies me by on my way up to Heaven! :)
20. I put off doing this for over a week after Heather tagged me, because I knew it was going to turn into a very long, drawn out, soul-emptying session...and sure enough, I was correct :)
21. I have 15 photos in my room, and all of them are of my family.
13 of them are in black and white.
The two that are in color are for effect.
Black and white pictures are my absolute favorite.
I have three pictures on my walls.
One is in color and says: "Live life passionately, Laugh until your belly huts, Love unconditionally."
The other two are of trees - one is black and white and the other is in sepia tones.
Both pictures speak to something deep in my heart. Staring at them and "going into" them is how God speaks to the deep places many times.
22. This summer after moving here God and I had it out because I wanted to "get pictures" like everybody else at Antioch did, and He wasn't giving me any. Then I finally got one, and I was more excited than I've ever been over any physical gift I've been given! :) And now He uses pictures frequently to speak to me, and to allow me to speak into others.
23. God has been given me words for people here lately, and I still question what I'm hearing sometimes...but there is something special that happens when you obey, walk up to someone and give them the words and/or picture that God has given you for them. There is a radiant smile that breaks out on their face - a smile that comes from deep within. :) The smile is God's way of showing me that I wasn't hearing things incorrectly, that it was just what they needed to hear, and helping me gain boldness in getting quicker to obey so He can use me to bless more people, more frequently. :)
24. I absolutely love getting random texts from my friends! :) It makes my day! Cause it makes me feel like they were just sitting, going about their day, and then all of a sudden thought about me and took the time to send me a message :) It makes me feel completely loved and special :)
25. Sometimes I feel completely uneducated - especially in the moments when I let myself slip, and I sound like someone off the Beverly Hillbillies. But then God reminds me that He loves me no matter what. And He doesn't mind that I have a country twang, and that it gets even worse when I'm tired or am really emotional. And that He doesn't care that I can't have long philosophical or scientific conversations, cause He didn't make me for that. He made me to be personable and relational. And even though I didn't really used to like people that weren't in my immediate circle, He has definitely been working on that, and broadening my horizons.
26. I hate talking on the phone. Absolutely loathe it. I would rather spend two hours having a conversation via text message than have a 5 minute phone conversation. I think part of it is that I sometimes have an extremely hard time hearing and understanding people over the phone, and I get frustrated with myself. However, if you catch me at the right time, I can talk for hours - just ask Mama :)
27. I have taken a Folic Acid pill almost every day since 10th grade. I found out in my Early Childhood class about how one of the main reasons children are born with Spina Bifida is because of a lack of Folic Acid in the mother. Our teacher told us that when we got ready to start thinking about getting pregnant that we should start taking Folic Acid pills to aid in the process. So I just got a jump start on it and started then. However, if any of my children are born with Spina Bifida, I am going to have blown the Folic Acid myth out the window! :P
28. I love getting mail - snail mail. One of the best feelings is to open up the mailbox and have a package or letter in there with my name on it :) I used to really enjoy it when I lived in Georgia, but now that I'm out here, I really and truly love it.
29. After being able to see the purity and the entire presence of God in Brandy and John's and Amanda and Ed's relationships, I have determined that I am completely willing to wait for whomever God wants to send my way. To be able to glow radiantly like Brandy is after marrying her God-given prince, and to be able to "light up like a Christmas tree" as I have seen Amanda do every time Ed walks into her line of vision...it's worth the wait. Totally and completely.
30. And on that note, after seeing each of those couples together, and after having long talks with each of the women about their feelings toward their relationships, I have decided that if I don't get married until I'm 80, it's fine, as long as he is the one God has for me. I don't want to rush anything. The way these men look at them like they are the most precious thing in the world; the way they lead the relationships in the way God intended, and the way these Godly women fall into their roles so happily and beautifully! :) It just puts everything into perspective. :)
*I'm sorry this is so long. And if you stuck it out and read this entire thing, you deserve a medal! :)
**I am aware that I did a few more than 25...what can I say, I got in the groove, and just went with it :)
48 Things :)
Random quiz on Facebook - it gives a good bit of info about me, so I figured I would include it too! :)
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
If I had been born male, my father was going to name me "Christopher Robin"...yeah...not even a little bit cool! I would have been constantly made fun of! I just thought Vanessa Ahngelina was bad... :)
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Sometime this week, I'm sure...I have Frequent Crier Miles :D (98% joyful tears though! :) )
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
I like it when I have taken my time...I don't care for my "hurried handwriting"
And I only like my cursive - I don't care a bit for my print :P
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Balogna
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
None that are bilogically mine :) I want at least 3 of my own one day
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
I would be friends with the person I am now...not so much with the person I used to be...God bless you if you have stuck with me through both! :)
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
I've gotten a lot better at not doing it since I moved in with the Sharon, David, Samantha and Davis. Sarcasm is evil, and makes the other person feel bad most of the time, so we should not use it. I totally see the full picture, but I still slip up sometimes...
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Yes!
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
I did when I was 8 - believe it or not, I begged to do it in Pigeon Forge, TN - my daddy dared me, and told me he would buy me a personalized airbrushed T-shirt (those things were REALLY popular back then) thinking that I would say no, but he got surprised! :D - and Mama had to sign an extra form of some kind because I was under the weight limit. But I did it and loved it. But I have more wits about me now, and wouldn't care to do it again :D
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
The cereal that I eat normally - Honey Nut Cheerios
The cereal that conjures up wonderful childhood memories - Froot Loops! :D
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
No...even though I know that I should...
...there is not a number 12...
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Mint Chocolate Chip - in a waffle cone! :)
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Their smile and eyes
15. RED OR PINK?
Pink - any shade :) (It's my most favorite color of all!)
16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
That it took me 23 years and moving halfway across the United States to truly find out who God made me to be! But I'm trying my best to make up for lost time now! :)
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
The people in Georgia that are holding a part of my heart...
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST?
Sure. Why not - it'd be interesting to see everyone's answers! :)
19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Black pantsBarefeet :)
...there's not a 20 either...
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
The most current CD that Trippe made for us :)
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Cerulean - was ALWAYS my favorite crayon in the box!
23. FAVORITE SMELL?
Trippe's cologne
Davis right after he has a bath
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Robin
...and there's not a 25...
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Davis' team playing soccer - I don't know enough about the sport to totally understand it and watch professional soccer on television...but I like watching it in person well enough :)
27. HAIR COLOR?
Brown
28. EYE COLOR?
Depends on my mood - blue or green
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
Yes - sometimes
30. FAVORITE FOOD?
Zaxby's! :)
Which I am totally missing while being here in Texas!
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Happy endings! I am a WIMP! I cannot stand scary movies! If you make me watch one, be prepared to be grabbed and held tightly! And I usually close my eyes through most of the movie... Sorry :)
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
PS I Love You :)
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
It's red and coral/orange striped...
34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Fall :)
35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Depends on who's giving them...I love big, slobbery kisses on my cheek from adorable little kids! :)I've never been a touchy person - AT ALL (just ask my Mama) - but God has begun changing that in me...by putting people in my life that just LOVE to hug! And now I will actually hug a person before they try to hug me! :) I'm quite proud of that change! :)
...and there's no 36...
37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Whoever takes the time to read it? :)
38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Whoever doesn't take the time to read it? :)
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Acts
Who Has Your Heart?
The King's Daughter
The Beginner's Guide to Fasting
(yeah...I can't keep focus on one non-fiction book at a time, so I have to bounce around between a few :) )
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
I have a laptop...and if I'm using my mini-mouse
(yeah...I just said it in my head and laughed out loud...ya know, "Minnie Mouse" :D) I use my notebook paper clipboard as my mouse pad :)
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
The Weather Channel
I turned it on to check today's forecast so Davis would know whether he should wear pants or shorts to school today.
42. FAVORITE SOUND?
My mama's voice - especially after a really bad day, or when I'm sick...there's nothing in the world as comforting!
Davis' giggleBeautiful music
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Couldn't tell you a thing either one of them sing...so I won't make a choice on this question...At least I've heard of the Beatles though...I thought the Rolling Stone was just a magazine that Mother Winslow held on the porch swing during the opening credits of Family Matters...lol
44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
I've been to Canada and California - while I lived in GeorgiaI don't know which one is further...and I don't care to Google right now to find out :)
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
I don't think so...if I do have one, it is so special that I don't even know about it yet! :D
46. WHERE WERE U BORN?
Gainesville, Georgia
47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
Whoever decides to fill it out :)
48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE?
I'll tell you once I meet him :)
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
If I had been born male, my father was going to name me "Christopher Robin"...yeah...not even a little bit cool! I would have been constantly made fun of! I just thought Vanessa Ahngelina was bad... :)
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Sometime this week, I'm sure...I have Frequent Crier Miles :D (98% joyful tears though! :) )
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
I like it when I have taken my time...I don't care for my "hurried handwriting"
And I only like my cursive - I don't care a bit for my print :P
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Balogna
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
None that are bilogically mine :) I want at least 3 of my own one day
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
I would be friends with the person I am now...not so much with the person I used to be...God bless you if you have stuck with me through both! :)
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
I've gotten a lot better at not doing it since I moved in with the Sharon, David, Samantha and Davis. Sarcasm is evil, and makes the other person feel bad most of the time, so we should not use it. I totally see the full picture, but I still slip up sometimes...
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Yes!
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
I did when I was 8 - believe it or not, I begged to do it in Pigeon Forge, TN - my daddy dared me, and told me he would buy me a personalized airbrushed T-shirt (those things were REALLY popular back then) thinking that I would say no, but he got surprised! :D - and Mama had to sign an extra form of some kind because I was under the weight limit. But I did it and loved it. But I have more wits about me now, and wouldn't care to do it again :D
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
The cereal that I eat normally - Honey Nut Cheerios
The cereal that conjures up wonderful childhood memories - Froot Loops! :D
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
No...even though I know that I should...
...there is not a number 12...
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Mint Chocolate Chip - in a waffle cone! :)
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Their smile and eyes
15. RED OR PINK?
Pink - any shade :) (It's my most favorite color of all!)
16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
That it took me 23 years and moving halfway across the United States to truly find out who God made me to be! But I'm trying my best to make up for lost time now! :)
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
The people in Georgia that are holding a part of my heart...
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST?
Sure. Why not - it'd be interesting to see everyone's answers! :)
19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Black pantsBarefeet :)
...there's not a 20 either...
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
The most current CD that Trippe made for us :)
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Cerulean - was ALWAYS my favorite crayon in the box!
23. FAVORITE SMELL?
Trippe's cologne
Davis right after he has a bath
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Robin
...and there's not a 25...
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Davis' team playing soccer - I don't know enough about the sport to totally understand it and watch professional soccer on television...but I like watching it in person well enough :)
27. HAIR COLOR?
Brown
28. EYE COLOR?
Depends on my mood - blue or green
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
Yes - sometimes
30. FAVORITE FOOD?
Zaxby's! :)
Which I am totally missing while being here in Texas!
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Happy endings! I am a WIMP! I cannot stand scary movies! If you make me watch one, be prepared to be grabbed and held tightly! And I usually close my eyes through most of the movie... Sorry :)
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
PS I Love You :)
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
It's red and coral/orange striped...
34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Fall :)
35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Depends on who's giving them...I love big, slobbery kisses on my cheek from adorable little kids! :)I've never been a touchy person - AT ALL (just ask my Mama) - but God has begun changing that in me...by putting people in my life that just LOVE to hug! And now I will actually hug a person before they try to hug me! :) I'm quite proud of that change! :)
...and there's no 36...
37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Whoever takes the time to read it? :)
38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Whoever doesn't take the time to read it? :)
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Acts
Who Has Your Heart?
The King's Daughter
The Beginner's Guide to Fasting
(yeah...I can't keep focus on one non-fiction book at a time, so I have to bounce around between a few :) )
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
I have a laptop...and if I'm using my mini-mouse
(yeah...I just said it in my head and laughed out loud...ya know, "Minnie Mouse" :D) I use my notebook paper clipboard as my mouse pad :)
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
The Weather Channel
I turned it on to check today's forecast so Davis would know whether he should wear pants or shorts to school today.
42. FAVORITE SOUND?
My mama's voice - especially after a really bad day, or when I'm sick...there's nothing in the world as comforting!
Davis' giggleBeautiful music
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Couldn't tell you a thing either one of them sing...so I won't make a choice on this question...At least I've heard of the Beatles though...I thought the Rolling Stone was just a magazine that Mother Winslow held on the porch swing during the opening credits of Family Matters...lol
44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
I've been to Canada and California - while I lived in GeorgiaI don't know which one is further...and I don't care to Google right now to find out :)
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
I don't think so...if I do have one, it is so special that I don't even know about it yet! :D
46. WHERE WERE U BORN?
Gainesville, Georgia
47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
Whoever decides to fill it out :)
48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE?
I'll tell you once I meet him :)
"Wait on me while you wait on me..."
"For singles, that's sometimes the scariest four-letter word ever: wait. You pray to meet someone special. God says wait. You pray to become a wife. God says wait. You pray to start a family. God says wait.
Just between you and me, don't you ever get tired of waiting?
Waiting implies inaction. It suggests remaining in a stagnant state for an undetermined length of time. We can't speed up waiting. We can't test out of it. All we can do is wait...
And wait...
And wait...
The hardest part about waiting is that we don't know what to do while we're waiting. If we could just do something to take our minds off the fact that we're waiting, maybe it wouldn't seem to go by so slowly.
Because this was such a difficult concept for me to grasp - knowing what to do while I waited - I finally sat down one day and had a talk with God. 'God, I know I have to wait on You. I fought it for a long time, but I've accepted it now. But what do I do in the meantime?'
He answered, 'Wait on Me.'
'God, I got that part. Didn't you just hear me? I said that I've accepted the fact that I'm supposed to wait on You. Just tell me what to do while I'm waiting.'
Again He answered, 'Wait.'
'So you want me to wait while I wait?'
'Yes.'
'God, I love You, and I don't want to sound disrespectful, but that's crazy! How can I wait while I wait?'
And He just smiled (that's how I pictured it, anyway) and said again, 'Just wait. You'll see soon enough what I mean.'
It took a shoe sale to finally make me understand what God was saying. After a sales lady brought me a huge stack of shoes, all in my size and all on sale, and laid them at my feet, it hit me.
All this time I was thinking of the usual definition of the word wait: to stay in one place or do nothing until something happens or in the expectation or hope that something will happen.
That's not what God wants us to do at all. We're forgetting that there's a second definition of the word wait: to be ready or available for somebody to take or use. To wait on someone is to serve someone. Butlers wait on their employers. Waiters wait tables. Salespeople wait on shoppers. There's nothing stagnant or inactive about any one of those.
God says, 'Wait on Me while you wait on Me.' In other words, 'Serve Me while you wait. Be active while you wait.'
Suddenly, waiting on God didn't seem boring at all."
Excerpt from the book:
"Who Has Your Heart?
The Single Woman's Pursuit of Godliness"
by Emily E. Ryan
Pgs 51-53
Davis' Psalm
Thank you God for planing my life even before I was born. Thank you for taking your time away to plan who is going to help me in tough sinchowations. Thank you for being my father. Thank you for breathing life into me. Thank you for helping me when I stumble.
and for bringing me out of the pit of death. Thank you for ansewring my prayers. Thank you for giving me the boldness and courage to speak to lost people. Thank you for being the king of my life.
Thank you for blocking satin's evil deads. Thank you for just being my lord and savior. and how you are giving and caring to me.
Thank you for being a grace giver because I don't deserve anything you give me not even my life. Thank you for being forgiver because I am a sinner and I will allways be a sinner but you are perfect so when I get into heaven you will change my life more than I can amagen.
Your love lord is more than every person I know put together. Thank you oh God for being there for me changing my life more and more and more. I will worship you because you are my lord and God. and thank you for giving me these words to right.Davis wrote this Psalm last night (12/01/08).
It is absolutely one of the most precious things I have ever read in my entire life.
He is amazing! :)
Me...
This "note" was written on Facebook Wednesday, February 28th, 2007...
It is such a perfect picture of where my heart was back then, I couldn't help but include it in the blog... :) And once I finally get to catch you all up, it will make even more sense! :) To see just exactly how far God has brought me! :)
Ok...I'm writing this in an attempt to sort through my rambling thoughts and emotions...
I am beginning to believe that I am meant to be single. I have been observing myself as of late, and I have found, that for me to ever be in a committed relationship with anyone is going to take a significant amount of work on God's part. I am too stubborn. Too independent. Too "stay out of my business." Too picky. Too analytical. Basically, too...me.I have a pattern. If you know me well, you will agree with this - I had not seen it, or realized it, until my mama and my aunt lovingly pointed it out to me!I am utterly TERRIFIED of committment. I read all the romances. Watch all the "lovey dovey" movies. Dream about having one of those "happily ever after" romances. But when it comes down to acting on any of those feelings, anything more than surface actions, I flip out!
Dynamic #1: Other than my mama, I have never had to answer to anyone (yes, I know I answer to God, but I am talking about answering to those mere earthlings that walk with me on this journey through life). I didn't have to answer to my daddy. I didn't have to check in with ten people before doing anything. Because Mama and Daddy were divorced, she didn't have to check in with anybody either, so we always just picked up and did whatever, at only a moment's notice.So...with that picture painted, is it easier to understand why I get all weird whenever someone starts wanting to know where I am, who I'm with, where I'm going, what my plans are for the day/week/month, etc? It isn't like I have anything to hide, it is just that I have never had anybody question me like that. I have always freely given Mama information as to my whereabouts, so I've never had to feel as if I am being interrogated by her! So, when someone starts all that up, I run as fast as I can in the opposite direction.
Dynamic #2: I'm way too analytical and honest. Mama is always saying, "You have to play the game." And I always say, "No thanks." My theory is such that if it is "meant to be," it will be and obviously, it has not been "meant to be" yet. So, to get a "man worth keeping," I should not have to "play a game"-all that should have ended in elementary school. She also tells me that I should never tell a guy exactly what I'm doing, or who I'm doing it with, or what I'm going to be doing-"keep it a mystery!" I DO NOT CARE ABOUT BEING "MYSTERIOUS"! I only care about being ME!
Dynamic #3: I am a BIG TIME family person. Mama and I go out to eat supper with Papa and Nanny every Friday night, and then go back to their house to play games (cards and dominos). We eat Sunday dinner with Papa, Nanny, and my aunt Marcia every Sunday afternoon. My extended family celebrates all our birthdays, and all holidays together. I always have been, and always will be, at anything (events, plays, ball games, etc.) that any of my family members are in. Samantha (she will be 11 in April) and Davis (he turned 7 in November) are the "baby" grandchildren, and feel way more like my niece and nephew than they do my cousins. The world stops - barring medical emergency, or job conflict - when they are involved in any extra-curricular activity that requires an audience (and even some that don't...) - the whole family shows up. I see my tight-knit family as a blessing and a thing to be treasured. Most everyone else sees it as stupid and silly - I have been made fun of way more than once for talking about my family and about doing things with them.
Dynamic #4: I am an extremely boring person. I don't care about going out to clubs, parties, bars, etc. I don't care about spending hundreds of dollars to eat at the best restaurant in Atlanta. I don't care about always having to be doing something.I love to be at home. Reading a book. Watching a movie I've seen ten times before. Writing out my feelings on paper like I am doing now (this will be typed up later). Cooking. Hanging out with my family. Hanging out with Samantha and Davis. Baby-sitting my babies from church. Sitting around having "meaningful conversation" - as my aunt Sharon calls it - with my loved ones! That is what makes life special! That is what makes life mean something!!!
Dynamic #5: I am involved in church. I love, love, love to be there! I am soooooo totally excited now that we are having church on Sunday nights too, and I am getting to go into church (I am in the nursery on Sunday mornings)! I love the music! I love the preacher! I love worshipping with my brothers and sisters in Christ! It is AWESOME!However, I am beginning to believe that all the "good", Christian guys have all been snatched up. It is a rare occasion (at least in my experience) to meet a guy that just jumps at the chance to sit down and have a long talk about how awesome God is...They want to do everything but talk about God.
So...for these reasons, and a whole list of others not included here, I am beginning to believe that I am meant to be single...
It is such a perfect picture of where my heart was back then, I couldn't help but include it in the blog... :) And once I finally get to catch you all up, it will make even more sense! :) To see just exactly how far God has brought me! :)
Ok...I'm writing this in an attempt to sort through my rambling thoughts and emotions...
I am beginning to believe that I am meant to be single. I have been observing myself as of late, and I have found, that for me to ever be in a committed relationship with anyone is going to take a significant amount of work on God's part. I am too stubborn. Too independent. Too "stay out of my business." Too picky. Too analytical. Basically, too...me.I have a pattern. If you know me well, you will agree with this - I had not seen it, or realized it, until my mama and my aunt lovingly pointed it out to me!I am utterly TERRIFIED of committment. I read all the romances. Watch all the "lovey dovey" movies. Dream about having one of those "happily ever after" romances. But when it comes down to acting on any of those feelings, anything more than surface actions, I flip out!
Dynamic #1: Other than my mama, I have never had to answer to anyone (yes, I know I answer to God, but I am talking about answering to those mere earthlings that walk with me on this journey through life). I didn't have to answer to my daddy. I didn't have to check in with ten people before doing anything. Because Mama and Daddy were divorced, she didn't have to check in with anybody either, so we always just picked up and did whatever, at only a moment's notice.So...with that picture painted, is it easier to understand why I get all weird whenever someone starts wanting to know where I am, who I'm with, where I'm going, what my plans are for the day/week/month, etc? It isn't like I have anything to hide, it is just that I have never had anybody question me like that. I have always freely given Mama information as to my whereabouts, so I've never had to feel as if I am being interrogated by her! So, when someone starts all that up, I run as fast as I can in the opposite direction.
Dynamic #2: I'm way too analytical and honest. Mama is always saying, "You have to play the game." And I always say, "No thanks." My theory is such that if it is "meant to be," it will be and obviously, it has not been "meant to be" yet. So, to get a "man worth keeping," I should not have to "play a game"-all that should have ended in elementary school. She also tells me that I should never tell a guy exactly what I'm doing, or who I'm doing it with, or what I'm going to be doing-"keep it a mystery!" I DO NOT CARE ABOUT BEING "MYSTERIOUS"! I only care about being ME!
Dynamic #3: I am a BIG TIME family person. Mama and I go out to eat supper with Papa and Nanny every Friday night, and then go back to their house to play games (cards and dominos). We eat Sunday dinner with Papa, Nanny, and my aunt Marcia every Sunday afternoon. My extended family celebrates all our birthdays, and all holidays together. I always have been, and always will be, at anything (events, plays, ball games, etc.) that any of my family members are in. Samantha (she will be 11 in April) and Davis (he turned 7 in November) are the "baby" grandchildren, and feel way more like my niece and nephew than they do my cousins. The world stops - barring medical emergency, or job conflict - when they are involved in any extra-curricular activity that requires an audience (and even some that don't...) - the whole family shows up. I see my tight-knit family as a blessing and a thing to be treasured. Most everyone else sees it as stupid and silly - I have been made fun of way more than once for talking about my family and about doing things with them.
Dynamic #4: I am an extremely boring person. I don't care about going out to clubs, parties, bars, etc. I don't care about spending hundreds of dollars to eat at the best restaurant in Atlanta. I don't care about always having to be doing something.I love to be at home. Reading a book. Watching a movie I've seen ten times before. Writing out my feelings on paper like I am doing now (this will be typed up later). Cooking. Hanging out with my family. Hanging out with Samantha and Davis. Baby-sitting my babies from church. Sitting around having "meaningful conversation" - as my aunt Sharon calls it - with my loved ones! That is what makes life special! That is what makes life mean something!!!
Dynamic #5: I am involved in church. I love, love, love to be there! I am soooooo totally excited now that we are having church on Sunday nights too, and I am getting to go into church (I am in the nursery on Sunday mornings)! I love the music! I love the preacher! I love worshipping with my brothers and sisters in Christ! It is AWESOME!However, I am beginning to believe that all the "good", Christian guys have all been snatched up. It is a rare occasion (at least in my experience) to meet a guy that just jumps at the chance to sit down and have a long talk about how awesome God is...They want to do everything but talk about God.
So...for these reasons, and a whole list of others not included here, I am beginning to believe that I am meant to be single...
"I Am"
I am Vanessa Ahngelina Murray. I am a fifteen-year-old female. I am a ninth grade student at Habersham Central High School. I am a child of the King! I am a work of God! I am my own person. I am unique and creative. I am strong and independent. I am happy and fulfilled. I am a thinker. I am a person that tries not to worry but never succeeds. I am the spitting image of my mama. I am strong in my views and opinions. I am the type of person who analyzes everything. I am usually willing to try anything once. I am not scared of heights. I am the type of person that gets hyper when I stay up too late. I am sensitive. I am careful about what I say to others. I am happy with the life God has given me! I am excited about every opportunity God has already provided for me! I am excited about living a life for Christ! I am learning each day to appreciate everything I have a little more. I am realizing how special family is. I am a teen volunteer at Northeast Georgia Medical Center. I am caring and understanding. I am learning a little more about life every day. I am a good listener and a perpetual talker. I am an avid reader. I am a dedicated daughter and friend. I am growing daily in my Christian walk. I am a devoted Christian and youth group member. I am a virgin. I am a lover of God and a hater of cats. I am an eternal optimist and a peacemaker. I am involved in the lives of the people I love the most. I am an individual!
I like knowing that I will eternally live in Heaven with the one true Father. I like the feeling I get when I talk to the ones I love. I like waking up in the morning, knowing that God has allowed me to live one more day. I like having luxuries that some people will never know about: phones, plumbing, television, computers, electricity, heating and air, clothing, paper and pencil, planes, food, shelter, and water. I like receiving snail mail from friends and family. I like getting notes from friends. I like knowing that I am loved. I like coming home to find messages from friends and family on the voicemail. I like watching the sun set over the ocean, painting the water with magnificent colors in the summer. I like watching the red, gold, yellow and brown leaves float off the trees in the autumn. I like watching snowflakes fall around me making the world white in the winter. I like seeing everything come alive again in the spring. I like getting meaningful email from friends and family. I like the feeling of being cared for. I like being able to read, write and comprehend things. I like being able to look around me and see God's magnificent grace. I like looking into the face of a newborn baby and knowing that God has a plan for it. I like looking into the face of an elderly person and knowing that God has allowed them to live a long, fulfilled life. I like the ability to see, hear, walk, talk, and breathe. I like being able to learn, live, and love. I like dreaming about the future, thinking about the past, and living in the present. I like being able to have a free education. I like having choices and making decisions. I like having friends, family, and church family members that truly care about me. I like knowing that no matter what I do in my life, God will always be with me, and forgive me for everything I have done, as long as I trust Him and let Him guide me! I like knowing that I wil never, ever have to be separated from the ones I love as long as they accept the presence of our Awesome God in their hearts!
I do not care for people that abuse others. I do not care for people that do not walk their talk. I do not care for mayonnaise or cats. I do not care for women that choose to have an abortion over taking responsibility for their own choices and actions. I do not care for hypocrites. I do not care for people that take advantage of others. I do not care for people that believe in witchcraft, palm readers, and horoscopes. I do not care for rap, rock, or jazz. I do not care for polluted air or littered streets. I do not care for stuck up cliques. I do not care for people that think alcohol, drugs, and sex are what make you a better, happier person. I do not care for stereotypes. I do not care for parents that set cruddy examples for their children, when they don't even know who they really are. I do not care for people that think they know it all. I do not care for people that judge others as if it were their job. I do not care for people that think they're better than everybody. I do not care for the racism and sexism in our country and all over the world. I do not care for the language that is used in movies, music, magazines, books and on radios today. I do not care for people that answer everything with violence or denial. I do not care for the rising HIV, AIDS, and cancer cases in our world. I do not care for the school shootings that are starting to happen all over the United States, and seem to get closer to us as the time passes. I do not care for people that think money equals happiness and fulfillment. I do not care for people that think that God isn't real and alive!
I believe in God. I believe in each of us having our own personal guardian angel. I believe in the Bible. I believe in myself. I believe in my family and friends. I believe in the teenagers of America and the teenagers of the world! I believe in women being equal to men. I believe in all my plans, dreams, hopes, goals, and aspirations. I believe in respecting everyone. I believe in having to earn the respect of others. I believe in trying to better yourself. I believe in miracles. I believe in love. I believe in true love. I believe in love at first sight. I believe in love at first chat. I believe in miracles. I believe in sharing secrets. I believe in keeping secrets. I believe in dreams coming true. I believe in God leading you to where you are to be. I believe in staying away from things that can damage your self-respect, reputation, and health. I believe in everyone being his or her own person. I believe in divine intervention. I believe in having a soul mate God made just for me. I believe in saving myself for my future husband. I believe in the power of a kind word, a hug, and a smile. I believe in living every day to the fullest extent, because you never know when today will be your last tomorrow! I believe in the power of prayer!
I am tired of hearing about the Georgia flag issue. I am tired of hearing about the violence in our world. I am tired of hearing about politics. I am tired of hearing about the Mark Reed thing. I am tired of hearing people say that just because we're young, we can't influence this world in a positive way and that all teenagers are bad. I am tired of hearing about abuse cases. I am tired of hearing about people that drink, drive, and kill. I am tired of hearing about people that use others to get themselves higher in the world. I am tired of hearing about the Clinton and Monica scandal. I am tired of hearing about political promises that never come true. I am tired of hearing about athletes and how great they are. I am tired of hearing about movie stars and all the other "important people" in our country that think they don't have to set an example for the people watching their lives. I am tired of hearing about the people that take up for them saying, "They don't have to watch what they do; they're only human." I am tired of hearing about people that walk out on their families, in the hardest of times. I am tired of hearing about everything that goes wrong in the world; why can't the newspapers, movies, magazines, books, music, and radios focus on the positive things that are happening?
I am tired of hearing about the Georgia flag issue. I am tired of hearing about the violence in our world. I am tired of hearing about politics. I am tired of hearing about the Mark Reed thing. I am tired of hearing people say that just because we're young, we can't influence this world in a positive way and that all teenagers are bad. I am tired of hearing about abuse cases. I am tired of hearing about people that drink, drive, and kill. I am tired of hearing about people that use others to get themselves higher in the world. I am tired of hearing about the Clinton and Monica scandal. I am tired of hearing about political promises that never come true. I am tired of hearing about athletes and how great they are. I am tired of hearing about movie stars and all the other "important people" in our country that think they don't have to set an example for the people watching their lives. I am tired of hearing about the people that take up for them saying, "They don't have to watch what they do; they're only human." I am tired of hearing about people that walk out on their families, in the hardest of times. I am tired of hearing about everything that goes wrong in the world; why can't the newspapers, movies, magazines, books, music, and radios focus on the positive things that are happening?
This was originally written as a project in my 9th grade Honors' Literature class.
Wow... :)
Stamps, and Labels and Envelopes...Oh my! :P
So...today was spent working to prepare the envelopes for Sharon and David's newsletters to raise support for the family mission trip to Thailand! While Sharon worked on some of the more personal parts of the newsletter, I typed a list of names, addressed some envelopes (she had already addressed the majority of them), stuck on more return address labels than I care to count, labeled the response envelopes, and put stamps on every envelope in the mix! :P My fingers feel like they are sticking to everything - even after multiple washings! lol
We're hoping to get the file to the UPS Store first thing tomorrow, so we can get the copies made, fold them up and send them on out! :) They have a lot of money to raise, and a very short time to do it in!
In other news...
This was set up to be an adorable picture of Davis and Samantha...and it was...about 5 seconds before this picture was taken...lol
Davis and I were first up to try out the set - this picture was before the "backdrop" took a tumble, and we were still up on the bed. We are cracking up during the taking of this picture, because this was about the fifteenth picture to be taken, and it was a laugh or cry moment...we chose to laugh! :)
We're hoping to get the file to the UPS Store first thing tomorrow, so we can get the copies made, fold them up and send them on out! :) They have a lot of money to raise, and a very short time to do it in!
In other news...
The kids and I took "Valentine" pictures on Friday night while Sharon and David were in Dallas for an Elevate thing.
We got really snazzy, lol, and got two of the dining room chairs, a kitchen stool, and both the comforters off Samantha's bunkbeds to create a backdrop! :D Yeah...we're good!
When we started the process, the chairs and stool were all sitting up on top of Davis' bed - it's a twin - and we had the comforters draped over it...it took an eternity to get any decent pictures like this, because no one could move very fast due to the fear of falling chairs, stools and comforters.
This was set up to be an adorable picture of Davis and Samantha...and it was...about 5 seconds before this picture was taken...lolDavis leaned back on the "backdrop" with a little too much force, and went right through the chairs - effectively tearing down our lovely setup! :)
Samantha's face is priceless!
It took me several minutes to regain composure so I could assist in digging Davis out of the rubble, and getting him off Samantha! :) But boy was it humorous! :)
Davis and I were first up to try out the set - this picture was before the "backdrop" took a tumble, and we were still up on the bed. We are cracking up during the taking of this picture, because this was about the fifteenth picture to be taken, and it was a laugh or cry moment...we chose to laugh! :) None of the pictures before this had made any of us happy. Either one of us was using a "fake" smile, or we weren't looking where we were supposed to, or my hair was sticking up straight off the top of my head, like Alfalfa, because it kept getting caught on the comforter! :D But I love this one! :) Davis' laugh is infectious and absolutely precious! Oh! The beauty in the innocence of a child's giggle! :)
Samantha and I did slightly better...or maybe it is more because we had moved the backdrop down to the floor, and we weren't having to be so very careful about how we sat, moved, and breathed! :)
I do love these children with all my heart! They are precious! And my time with them is priceless!
I remember back to a few short months ago when I refused to have my picture taken, because I couldn't stand looking at the picture. But now I thoroughly enjoy our fun little "photo sessions" - and I enjoy looking at all the pictures!
I know one day, when I am not able to put my arms around them like I can right now, they will mean even more to me than they do now...
It's amazing how much your attitude can change when God gets a hold of you... :)
So...I know I have a TON of stuff to catch you up on, and this was just "fun stuff," but I promise I'll be working on a "real" update soon! :)
Until then...
I love you!
Wow...
...well, I finally got all the newsletters edited and added to the blog! :) Woohoo!
So now, I am off to bed - yes, it is entirely too late, and I should have been in bed long ago, but I wanted to get this done, so tomorrow I can get to the "meat!" I have sooooo much to share with you all! I cannot wait to get it out for all of you to rejoice in! :) But first I had to get the "back" stuff up and running! And now I'll be ready to forge full speed ahead! :)
Love you!
So now, I am off to bed - yes, it is entirely too late, and I should have been in bed long ago, but I wanted to get this done, so tomorrow I can get to the "meat!" I have sooooo much to share with you all! I cannot wait to get it out for all of you to rejoice in! :) But first I had to get the "back" stuff up and running! And now I'll be ready to forge full speed ahead! :)
Love you!
LateJanuary 2009
For I Know The Plans He Has For Me…
…or at least some of them… :)
I will try to make everything make as much sense as possible. But PLEASE don’t be afraid to ask any questions you may have. I might not have all the answers right now, but I will do my best to provide you with answers! :)
First Things First! :)
As I have shared before, Sharon, David and I were all seeking God's heartbeat as to what He is pointing us to for the future - whether short term or long term - so we could figure out what our next steps were to be, so we fasted from Monday though Sunday, in order to be able to be as close to Him as possible.
Before I get into all my stuff, I’ll tell you that Sharon and David got their answer as to where they will be going after Elevate (the school they are in now) and 24:14 (the church planting school that they will go through next).
THAILAND!
The plan now is for them to finish up this year in Elevate and start 24:14 this coming September. They will finish that up in April of '10, and if all goes according to schedule, will be in Thailand by the end of that summer!
So they are super excited! And I'm excited for them!
Now it Gets Jumbled… :)
Friday night during our first session, God told me that I was to sit down and write out a list of all the time periods Monday thru Sunday that I absolutely cannot work due to prior obligations (when Sharon and David are at school, LifeGroup, Urban Children's LifeGroup, church times, etc), and then I am to go out and get a job in retail. Then He kept saying WalMart - and in all my life, I have NEVER had a desire to work at WalMart, so I was really hoping I was not hearing correctly! ;)
Side Story
Saturday afternoon, as I was telling Sharon about all God has been revealing, when I got to the part about WalMart, she started laughing. I asked her why, and she told me to go ahead and finish everything and then she'd tell me.
When I finished, I asked her what was funny and she said that she and Zhiping (pronounced Zee ping) (this is the Chinese lady that works at WalMart – the one I talked about in the last newsletter, where her, her husband and daughter came over and had dinner with us one Saturday evening – the night Sharon had the healing of the burst blood vessel.) were talking Tuesday while she was ringing up Sharon’s purchases, and out of the blue – Sharon said they had not been talking about me, family or jobs - Zhiping says, “Vanessa! Your niece! She need come work with me at WalMart!"
Sharon said that she thought it was one of the most random things she had ever heard, so she just said "Well, ok." and put it out of her mind. But as soon as I told her what God had told me, she saw that it was just another confirmation for me! :)
Back to the Story
God told me that it was so important and wonderful that I had had the opportunity to continue working for American TeleCenters the past seven months, because it had given Him the opportunity to really ground me and grow me in Him, His word, and all He has for me. It gave me the opportunity to be completely away from the secular world - because I am ALWAYS at home - I work at home, I watch the kids at home, and I spend time with the family at home - and when I'm not at home, I'm doing church activities. So everything in my Texas life, up to this point, has completely revolved around my "family" family, and my church family.
What He told me is that the unsettledness and the restlessness (I hope those are words and that I am spelling them correctly! :) ) that I have been experiencing are from this desire He has begun to stir in me to get out and begin to make relationships with the world. I wasn't ready for that before now, because before now they would have influenced me more than I would have influenced them - but now He said I'm ready to make an impact! :D And I am soooooooooooooooooo excited about that!
Full Circle
Friday night, God had given me some stuff to pass on to Sharon, and as I was speaking to her and then praying for her, God continued to say “Full Circle.” I didn’t know what exactly He was talking about, so I just continued on with what I did know. Then all of a sudden, it hit me: Sharon and I had come full circle! From the January night in ’07 at the Passion conference when God first told Sharon that they were to start preparing because they were going to be going, right back around to this January night in ’09 where He was beginning to completely bring about the fullness of the plans He started back then.
Also at the Passion conference that year, I was first introduced to Invisible Children (www.invisiblechildren.org). Sharon and I had a long conversation that night at Passion, as I explained to her all I had seen during the breakout session that day pertaining to the children in Uganda, and how they had been telling us how they needed so much help over there! And I told her that I totally understood the need, but I knew that God would never call me to that, because I could never leave my mama, I could never leave my family, I could never leave these kids, I could never leave my house, I could never leave my job, I could never leave Georgia... Well...I guess we all know the rest of that story... :) He certainly does have a way of taking our excuses right away from us, doesn’t he?
Then this past Tuesday, Sharon was telling me all about the Restoration Gateway (www.restorationgateway.com) project that a couple from Antioch have started. Basically, they are building a community there, starting with a medical facility, and then they will begin to build “pods.” A pod will hold 8-10 orphans, and two house parents – Christian American female and one Ugandan widow - so that the children will be brought up with the morals and values and beliefs of the American, but will also get the fullness of their Ugandan heritage! As Sharon was telling me about everything going on over there, I got so excited! I was thrilled that these children are finally being given a chance to have some semblance of a normal life, and a family!
As I stood at World Mandate Friday night, God kept putting Uganda on my heart, and I kept praying for the nation and all that is going on through Restoration Gateway! And then Saturday morning, it was back!
During Friday night and Saturday morning’s sessions, they kept flashing different countries names up on the screen, with a little bit of information about what’s going on in that country, the population, etc. And all of the countries had been from Asia and Europe. So...as I stood there hearing Uganda over and over and over, I finally made a deal. I said, “Lord. I know that I am not supposed to be making deals and bargains with you. And I’m not making a deal as to whether or not I am supposed to go – cause I know I’m supposed to go somewhere. But Lord, I really need to know if I am hearing Uganda because that is where you want me to go, or if I am just being extremely emotional because I have such a heart for children, and my heart has always had a soft spot for these children. Or maybe it’s you that gave me the soft spot back in ’07 when I first heard about them, cause you were preparing me for this moment. But I have to have clarity. So God, if you want me to go to Uganda, then put Uganda up on the screen! Cause then I’ll know it’s meant to be, because that would be totally out of character from all of the other countries that have been listed! It’s in Africa and it doesn’t fit the “Asia and Europe” mold! So if it comes up on the screen, I will have no doubt!”
About 15 seconds later, Uganda popped up on the screen. It was the last country that came up on the screen. It was the only country that was not in Asia or Europe. It was my sign from my God confirming where He is sending me! :)
I feel that God is telling me that I will be working in one of the pods with the orphans! Which makes me sooooooo incredibly happy because my heartbeat has always been children! I just never knew it would be Ugandan children! :)
He also spoke to me and said that no time is better for me than now. This is my time. Because I don't have HUGE responsibilities of my own - I don't have a husband, and I don't have children! I have nothing to hold me back! :) So, here am I! Send me! :)
Follow Up
*I went this afternoon and applied at WalMart, so I am hoping that I will be hearing from them soon!
*Davis has not had any more nightmares since the last ones I reported to you! Thank you for your prayers! The prayers of the saints are powerful!
*Even though it is great to know what God has planned for us all, it is also quite bittersweet, because now we know when the end will be. So we know exactly how limited our time together is. And as hard as the year in Georgia was for me as they were preparing to leave – those of you who know me well know the horrible, barely functioning time I was having – I fear that it will be even worse now that we have all been around each other day in and day out for what will be two years when they leave. I am trying to enjoy every moment more now than I ever have before. Treasuring every hug and kiss. Every “I love you” and every sweet smile. I know that y’all feel it too, but I can’t even begin to tell you how imbedded in my heart these children have become.
Which is the other thing that lets me know I truly am following God on this one. If I had it my way, I would have gone to Thailand too, just so I could stay with them. I knew I was supposed to go, so if I had to go, and it was my choice, I would have gone where I could have continued to be with my precious babies! But God is going to restore my heart, and He is going to give me the opportunity to have a part in the lives of children that have never had the families we have. Children who have never felt loved or cared for. Children who feel utterly abandoned and hopeless! And that’s what keeps a smile on my face and a song in my heart! :) I will be able to do some good! God gave me a huge heart when it comes to children! And now He’s preparing me for the opportunity to really put it to use! :)
I think that’s all this time…
Crazy, huh? It’s not 10 pages!!! :) But then, I just sent you all the updates last week, so it’ll be a while before the next one! :) I appreciate all your support and all of your prayers! More than I could ever express!
The only other matter I wish you to specifically be praying for is financial stuff. It’s overbearing if I begin to think about it, but I trust that God has this planned for me, and that everything will come together. So please just pray that I will completely trust Him in that and I will totally leave it in His hands!
…or at least some of them… :)
I will try to make everything make as much sense as possible. But PLEASE don’t be afraid to ask any questions you may have. I might not have all the answers right now, but I will do my best to provide you with answers! :)
First Things First! :)
As I have shared before, Sharon, David and I were all seeking God's heartbeat as to what He is pointing us to for the future - whether short term or long term - so we could figure out what our next steps were to be, so we fasted from Monday though Sunday, in order to be able to be as close to Him as possible.
Before I get into all my stuff, I’ll tell you that Sharon and David got their answer as to where they will be going after Elevate (the school they are in now) and 24:14 (the church planting school that they will go through next).
THAILAND!
The plan now is for them to finish up this year in Elevate and start 24:14 this coming September. They will finish that up in April of '10, and if all goes according to schedule, will be in Thailand by the end of that summer!
So they are super excited! And I'm excited for them!
Now it Gets Jumbled… :)
Friday night during our first session, God told me that I was to sit down and write out a list of all the time periods Monday thru Sunday that I absolutely cannot work due to prior obligations (when Sharon and David are at school, LifeGroup, Urban Children's LifeGroup, church times, etc), and then I am to go out and get a job in retail. Then He kept saying WalMart - and in all my life, I have NEVER had a desire to work at WalMart, so I was really hoping I was not hearing correctly! ;)
Side Story
Saturday afternoon, as I was telling Sharon about all God has been revealing, when I got to the part about WalMart, she started laughing. I asked her why, and she told me to go ahead and finish everything and then she'd tell me.
When I finished, I asked her what was funny and she said that she and Zhiping (pronounced Zee ping) (this is the Chinese lady that works at WalMart – the one I talked about in the last newsletter, where her, her husband and daughter came over and had dinner with us one Saturday evening – the night Sharon had the healing of the burst blood vessel.) were talking Tuesday while she was ringing up Sharon’s purchases, and out of the blue – Sharon said they had not been talking about me, family or jobs - Zhiping says, “Vanessa! Your niece! She need come work with me at WalMart!"
Sharon said that she thought it was one of the most random things she had ever heard, so she just said "Well, ok." and put it out of her mind. But as soon as I told her what God had told me, she saw that it was just another confirmation for me! :)
Back to the Story
God told me that it was so important and wonderful that I had had the opportunity to continue working for American TeleCenters the past seven months, because it had given Him the opportunity to really ground me and grow me in Him, His word, and all He has for me. It gave me the opportunity to be completely away from the secular world - because I am ALWAYS at home - I work at home, I watch the kids at home, and I spend time with the family at home - and when I'm not at home, I'm doing church activities. So everything in my Texas life, up to this point, has completely revolved around my "family" family, and my church family.
What He told me is that the unsettledness and the restlessness (I hope those are words and that I am spelling them correctly! :) ) that I have been experiencing are from this desire He has begun to stir in me to get out and begin to make relationships with the world. I wasn't ready for that before now, because before now they would have influenced me more than I would have influenced them - but now He said I'm ready to make an impact! :D And I am soooooooooooooooooo excited about that!
Full Circle
Friday night, God had given me some stuff to pass on to Sharon, and as I was speaking to her and then praying for her, God continued to say “Full Circle.” I didn’t know what exactly He was talking about, so I just continued on with what I did know. Then all of a sudden, it hit me: Sharon and I had come full circle! From the January night in ’07 at the Passion conference when God first told Sharon that they were to start preparing because they were going to be going, right back around to this January night in ’09 where He was beginning to completely bring about the fullness of the plans He started back then.
Also at the Passion conference that year, I was first introduced to Invisible Children (www.invisiblechildren.org). Sharon and I had a long conversation that night at Passion, as I explained to her all I had seen during the breakout session that day pertaining to the children in Uganda, and how they had been telling us how they needed so much help over there! And I told her that I totally understood the need, but I knew that God would never call me to that, because I could never leave my mama, I could never leave my family, I could never leave these kids, I could never leave my house, I could never leave my job, I could never leave Georgia... Well...I guess we all know the rest of that story... :) He certainly does have a way of taking our excuses right away from us, doesn’t he?
Then this past Tuesday, Sharon was telling me all about the Restoration Gateway (www.restorationgateway.com) project that a couple from Antioch have started. Basically, they are building a community there, starting with a medical facility, and then they will begin to build “pods.” A pod will hold 8-10 orphans, and two house parents – Christian American female and one Ugandan widow - so that the children will be brought up with the morals and values and beliefs of the American, but will also get the fullness of their Ugandan heritage! As Sharon was telling me about everything going on over there, I got so excited! I was thrilled that these children are finally being given a chance to have some semblance of a normal life, and a family!
As I stood at World Mandate Friday night, God kept putting Uganda on my heart, and I kept praying for the nation and all that is going on through Restoration Gateway! And then Saturday morning, it was back!
During Friday night and Saturday morning’s sessions, they kept flashing different countries names up on the screen, with a little bit of information about what’s going on in that country, the population, etc. And all of the countries had been from Asia and Europe. So...as I stood there hearing Uganda over and over and over, I finally made a deal. I said, “Lord. I know that I am not supposed to be making deals and bargains with you. And I’m not making a deal as to whether or not I am supposed to go – cause I know I’m supposed to go somewhere. But Lord, I really need to know if I am hearing Uganda because that is where you want me to go, or if I am just being extremely emotional because I have such a heart for children, and my heart has always had a soft spot for these children. Or maybe it’s you that gave me the soft spot back in ’07 when I first heard about them, cause you were preparing me for this moment. But I have to have clarity. So God, if you want me to go to Uganda, then put Uganda up on the screen! Cause then I’ll know it’s meant to be, because that would be totally out of character from all of the other countries that have been listed! It’s in Africa and it doesn’t fit the “Asia and Europe” mold! So if it comes up on the screen, I will have no doubt!”
About 15 seconds later, Uganda popped up on the screen. It was the last country that came up on the screen. It was the only country that was not in Asia or Europe. It was my sign from my God confirming where He is sending me! :)
I feel that God is telling me that I will be working in one of the pods with the orphans! Which makes me sooooooo incredibly happy because my heartbeat has always been children! I just never knew it would be Ugandan children! :)
He also spoke to me and said that no time is better for me than now. This is my time. Because I don't have HUGE responsibilities of my own - I don't have a husband, and I don't have children! I have nothing to hold me back! :) So, here am I! Send me! :)
Follow Up
*I went this afternoon and applied at WalMart, so I am hoping that I will be hearing from them soon!
*Davis has not had any more nightmares since the last ones I reported to you! Thank you for your prayers! The prayers of the saints are powerful!
*Even though it is great to know what God has planned for us all, it is also quite bittersweet, because now we know when the end will be. So we know exactly how limited our time together is. And as hard as the year in Georgia was for me as they were preparing to leave – those of you who know me well know the horrible, barely functioning time I was having – I fear that it will be even worse now that we have all been around each other day in and day out for what will be two years when they leave. I am trying to enjoy every moment more now than I ever have before. Treasuring every hug and kiss. Every “I love you” and every sweet smile. I know that y’all feel it too, but I can’t even begin to tell you how imbedded in my heart these children have become.
Which is the other thing that lets me know I truly am following God on this one. If I had it my way, I would have gone to Thailand too, just so I could stay with them. I knew I was supposed to go, so if I had to go, and it was my choice, I would have gone where I could have continued to be with my precious babies! But God is going to restore my heart, and He is going to give me the opportunity to have a part in the lives of children that have never had the families we have. Children who have never felt loved or cared for. Children who feel utterly abandoned and hopeless! And that’s what keeps a smile on my face and a song in my heart! :) I will be able to do some good! God gave me a huge heart when it comes to children! And now He’s preparing me for the opportunity to really put it to use! :)
I think that’s all this time…
Crazy, huh? It’s not 10 pages!!! :) But then, I just sent you all the updates last week, so it’ll be a while before the next one! :) I appreciate all your support and all of your prayers! More than I could ever express!
The only other matter I wish you to specifically be praying for is financial stuff. It’s overbearing if I begin to think about it, but I trust that God has this planned for me, and that everything will come together. So please just pray that I will completely trust Him in that and I will totally leave it in His hands!
MidJanuary 2009
It’s All Gonna Be Ok! :)
I wrote this 1/21 as a “note” on Facebook. It clearly shows my heartbeat, and I wanted to share it with you.
So...sitting here, I just came to the realization that there are some people that were born into my life - people that are a part of my world, by genetics only. People that could care less whether I live or breathe. People that can go for years without talking to me - and when they do find that they have to talk to me, only skim the surface, never caring to ask real questions about my life, or what's happening.But it's all gonna be ok! :)
BECAUSE...
God has given us friends to make up for that! Friends that I have stronger bonds with than 90% of my family. Friends that have gotten to know me on a more intimate level in the past years, months or even weeks, than some of my family members will ever know about me. In a way, I guess that's sad. But on the other hand, coming to that realization has totally freed me.
Now I truly don't have to worry what they think about me: Am I too country? Am I too fat? Am I too "spiritual?" Am I too willing to hang out with the kids, and not have "grown up" conversation? Am I too unfashionable? Am I too me? And maybe I am all those things...but you know what? God made me to be exactly who I am - so I'm gonna be that person with every fiber of my being! And if it offends some people? Then they weren't meant to be a longstanding part of my life anyway. I'll still love them. I'll still bless them. And I'll still pray for them. But I'll do it "from afar."We absolutely CANNOT allow ourselves to get so wrapped up in trying to please everyone else, that we forget who we truly are - who God made us to be. Cause one day, all the "fun," money and status is going to fall away, and all we're going to be left with is the cold hard reality of who we really are. We won't be able to hide behind our popularity, our bank account, our well-stocked closets, or thousands of surface friends - we'll be held accountable for the lives we changed; the cashier at the store that we blessed by smiling; the child that sees love for the first time when you give them a hug after they've had a hard day; the man that has lost everything, that has been treated as a nobody by society for so long - you smile at him, give him a coat and invite him in for a meal; the woman who is raising her children alone, and has no one to look after them - you open your home to them, and social and racial walls are broken down - not to mention the deep hurts that are repaired.
I've learned a lot in the past 7 months. God has done an awesome work in my life, and I am praying that He continues to mold me and change me. I praise God that He has given me a chance to change! That He never gave up on me! That He allowed me to see the error of my ways while I'm still young so that I can be the change for my family! So that my future children will start day one with the knowledge that ALL people are children of God, and we should treat them as such! We are called to be the Hands and Feet of God on this earth! So let's walk out in it!!!
World Mandate Prayer Rally
So the church had three days of corporate prayer and fasting from Monday to Wednesday that culminated in a prayer rally that was held on Wednesday night. At least 1,500 people gathered last night at the church to seek the face of God, to experience corporate and individual breakthrough, as well as miraculous healing!
Oooooooooooooooh! God is good! :)
Sharon and I got to be a part of an awesome healing moment! :)
The service was set up in such a way that we worshiped and pray all throughout. We would have 3 or 4 songs, and then Jimmy (the pastor) would come up and present a prayer topic. And then we would pray. Sometimes we would pray in groups of two or three, other times we would pray individually, but my favorite was when we prayed with “one voice” – if you’ve never experienced this, and have the ability to get a group of people together, DO IT!!! :)
“One Voice”
It’s probably a pretty simple concept…and all of you probably already know what I’m talking about. But I had never heard of it before, nor have ever been a part of it until recently, so I’ll explain :)
Everyone is giving a topic to life up in prayer, and it is done in “one voice.” Meaning that EVERYONE prays OUT LOUD at the SAME TIME! The power of the Spirit is sooooo awesome in those moments – almost to the point of being totally overwhelming!!! The coolest part is that as you are praying, there is just a dome of prayer all around you and you know that the throne of Heaven is being flooded by the prayers of the Saints!!! :) How freeing is that?!?!?! :D
You know you wanna try it!!! :D So go for it!
Prayer Rally, Part II :)
So anyway, we were praying through different things in preparation for this weekend, but also individually seeking God’s face on things that we were expecting breakthrough in.
One of the prayer topics was on healing – physical, emotional and spiritual. They invited those that had had physical problems for many years, and especially those that had terminal diseases to come to the front to be prayed over by the healing team. Those of us not on the prayer time and not seeking physical healing were asked to gather with 2-3 people and pray for the healing to come in those at the front physically, but then to lift up the emotional and spiritual needs as well. Sharon and I had just turned to one another to begin praying when the lady in front of us (the lady is Donna. She is an older lady that we all first connected with this summer when we all went to The Feast together. Then come to find out, she is also in Elevate PM with Sharon and David. She is an absolutely precious woman that was dealt a pretty rough hand – but she has persevered and overcome! And she is constantly giving ALL glory to the only One that could have turned her situation around! :) - turned around, grabbed Sharon and said I want you to pray for me. Apparently she has had arthritis for many years, and it has pained her greatly – especially in her knees. This summer she went on a mission trip and when she left the states, she was hurting so badly that she had to rely on a cane to help her get around. By the time she got back, due to the prayers of the people on the team with her, she no longer needed the cane, but the pain wasn’t completely gone. Through the ensuing months, she’s had several people pray healing over her, and her right knee has been completely healed, but her left knee is causing her major pain, and hinders her ability to just full out run with everything God has put in her heart! So, she wanted prayer last night, and wanted us to pray that the left knee would be completely healed! She had faith it was going to happen, and so did we, so we got down to business!
Sharon and I put our hands on her swollen knee, and began praying. Commanding healing and asking that God would touch Donna in new and miraculous ways. The first time we prayed, Donna was standing up with her left leg propped up in the chair, and Sharon and I were kneeling around it. While we were praying, all of a sudden, she yanked her leg down started jerking it up and down, and said, “It bends! I can bend it! It doesn’t hurt so bad any more!!!” She was ecstatic and so were we! :) But the healing wasn’t complete!
What I’ve Learned Regarding Praying for Healing
1. Never close your eyes. Always be watchful of the person’s overall well being and the specific site you are praying for. Major things happen sometimes, and you surely don’t want to miss out on what God has to show you! :) And while healing is going on, the Holy Spirit is in the person in an extremely powerful way, and you never know how He will manifest Himself! So you have to be ready to ease the person down if they start getting unstable.
2. It’s ok to stop your prayer! :) The Holy Spirit understands that we are not perfect, and therefore do not have a perfect line of communication between here and Heaven. So, we need to frequently stop praying and ask the person what they are feeling, if the pain has moved or changed, lessened or worsened, etc. The more information we get, the more pointed and effective our prayers can be! :)
3. If change is occurring, keep praying! If you pray for a few minutes, stop and ask the person what they are feeling, and the pain has changed in any way, you know for sure that the Spirit is moving, so pray again! We go through this cycle until healing is complete, or there is no change occurring!
4. It’s good to ask the pain to go away, but it’s also ok to command it to get gone! “In the name of Jesus, we command this pain to be gone!” How powerful is that? :) And He wants us to do that! Because it takes a ton of faith to say it, and He wants us to be continually building our faith!
Prayer Rally, Part III
So, she sat down on the chair, and Sharon and I once again knelt around her and had our hands on her knee. In this new position, it wound up that one of my fingers was crossed across one of Sharon’s. We began praying, thanking God for what He’d already done, but asking that He come more. Petitioning Him to not only minister to Donna’s knee, but to minister to her heart and mind as well! And it was incredible! We looked up at her, and she was in another world with her savior! You could see it all over her face! She was positively glowing! We didn’t feel overwhelmed to keep using words, so we simply sat and held her knee, while watching her bask in the glory of God, and keeping an eye on her knee. When we started, her knee was absolutely huge, fiercely swollen! As we say there watching it, the coolest thing happened: it started to deflate! :D It wasn’t some fast thing that went “whoosh!” Instead, it was extremely slow, like someone was pulling apart the opening of a balloon that had been blown up but not tied off yet! It slowly began to go down, and as we watched, the finger of mine that had just barely been on Sharon’s went further and further onto it! :) It was incredible! God is gooooooooooooooood! :D
Healing in the House!
So…in the midst of telling all about my airport adventure at the beginning of the month, I totally forgot to tell about the excitement I got to experience in Georgia!
December 27th was a Saturday and Marcia’s birthday. Mama and I were going to take her out to dinner that evening, but that day I was craving a lazy, post-holiday, do absolutely nothing that you do not absolutely have to do kind of day! :) So we watched a Christmas movie I had taped off LMN, read, and then took a nap! :) When I woke up, Mama had already gotten up, gotten ready and was getting ready to iron her clothes. I jumped in the shower, and as I came out of the bathroom, Mama was making pain-filled noises, and was all hunched over the ironing board. I asked her what in the world was wrong, and she said that her side/stomach had been killing her since she had woken up, and at this point it was causing so much pain, she told me that Marcia and I were just going to have to go by ourselves.
***If you know Mama at all, you know that it was completely out of character for her to even be acknowledging that she was in pain, but for her to say that she was going to stay home! Why that was just too much!
By this time, she was sitting on my toy box, doubled over, and kind of rocking back and forth. I held my hand out to her and told her to put it where the pain was. She told me she wouldn’t be able to stretch out until she was lying down, so she hobbled, doubled over across the house and got on her bed. She put my hand on the pain, and was pressing it pretty hard, so I just kept the pressure there after she let go. I prayed that God would heal her, but then prayed that if it was something that truly needed medical attention, that He would make it even more unbearable, so that my stubborn mama would know beyond the shadow of a doubt that she needed to get to the hospital.
I stopped and asked her how it felt, and she said she wouldn’t know without walking. So she got up and started walking around the room, pressing on her side, but not saying anything. I finally started probing, and she said that she didn’t know if it was still hurting a little because there was still pain there or if it was all the pressure that had been applied to that spot causing soreness. She started to leave the room to go back and iron her clothes and I quickly stopped her in her tracks explaining about our “if God’s moving, keep praying” motto. So I got her back and prayed thankfulness over what He had already done but that He would even remove the soreness if that was what was causing the left over pain, and that He would complete the healing!
I stopped again and said, “Well…?” She wasn’t saying anything, but was pushing on her side, and walking around the room, and the she headed across the house. I jum’ped off the bed and followed her and said, “Well?!?” again. She turned and said, “It is completely gone! It doesn’t hurt AT ALL!”
How exciting!!! :)
Part II
On Saturday, 1/10, we had company over. It was Sharon’s cashier from WalMart, her husband and her daughter. After dinner, the kids and I played Monopoly in Davis’ bedroom, and the adults talked in the living room. They stayed until almost 9, so when they left, I was getting the kids ready for bed (Davis normally goes to bed at 7:30, and Samantha goes to bed at 8:00 – so this was really late for them!), as Sharon and David were cleaning up in the kitchen. I had gone into the bathroom to take out my contacts, wash my face, and brush my teeth, when Samantha is at my door doing a play-by-play telling me how Sharon just popped a blood vessel. Then she tells me what it looks like and that apparently it hurts a lot cause Sharon keeps “squinching up” her face and saying, “This really hurts!” By the time I got out, everyone was gathered in Davis’ room for bedtime prayer, but also to take a gander at the burst blood vessel. :) (Yes. We ARE easily amused! lol) She just kept repeating over and over that it really hurt, and how she didn’t know a burst blood vessel could hurt so much! (by the way, it was on the palm of her hand – can’t remember which one now… - in that fleshy area right below her thumb. I finally got it and asked why we weren’t praying healing for it. She jumped on the wagon, and the kids and I laid our hands on it and began petitioning! Davis prayed, then Samantha, then Davis again and then Sharon. We stopped and I said, “Well…?”
***If you haven’t noticed, that’s my question of choice when praying for people I know. Cause they know what I’m asking, instead of me having to try and probe it out of them! :D
She just smiled and said, “No more pain.”
I took the prayer of thanksgiving, and then Samantha and Davis began to tell us how the color had moved out of her hand and disappeared as they sat there and watched it – Sharon and I openly admitted that we had shut our eyes – force of habit – and so we missed it! But it was truly awesome!
See! God wants to meet us in ALL areas of our lives! Not just in the HUGE things, but in the little things as well! He wants us to be completely dependent on Him! He wants us to cry out to Him when we go to the doctor and he tells us we have cancer, or when we try to walk through the dark house and stub our toe! He wants to meet us in EVERY situation! Nothing is too trivial with God! It blesses His heart to bless ours! Don’t rob either of you of that blessing!
Walk out in the faith! And if you don’t feel like you have much! He’ll meet you in that too! He will restore the faith you’ve lost! And He’ll give you more! All you have to do is be truly open, and ask!
World Mandate 2009
This weekend (1/23-1/25), Sharon, David, Samantha, Davis and I – along with 3,000 others will be gathering at the Ferrell Center – it’s where they have their basketball games - here on the Baylor campus. We are expecting God to show up in MIGHTY ways! We have expectant hearts, that we will all have clarity for the future spoken over us. We’re ready, broken, hungry and waiting, but most of all we’re expectant!
Join us in that prayer! If you happen to think about us anytime in the next 4 days, please just ask that God will bring us to a place where all we hear is Him. Where He is constantly speaking to and through us! Praying for our openness and receptiveness!
Speaking of Clarity…
At LifeGroup each Wednesday, they pass around a clipboard that we put our name, any prayer or praise requests we have, and our VIP – which is a person we are praying salvation for. This list is emailed to all of us so we can lift one another up through the week. My prayer request last week was “Clarity” – plain and simple.
As we stood up and began to worship, Ashley came over and spoke into me. When she left I knew that I needed to journal what she said, so I sat down to do that. While I was writing, I heard “42:9.” I didn’t know what it meant, so I just jotted it down in the margin, and kept on writing. In a few more minutes I heard “Isaiah,” and added it to my note. I finished journaling, and looked it up. Here’s my verse:
“See the former things have taken place, and new things I declare; before they spring into being I announce them to you.”
In the moment I read that verse, I felt peace. Because what God said to me through this verse was this: Vanessa, don’t be anxious. Look at all I have already done in you. Look how far you’ve come! More is coming! Good stuff is coming! The future that I have planned for you is coming! I won’t just spring it on you, you’ll know ahead of time! You will have time to prepare and adjust! :)
Yeah, I know…my God is good! :D
So I shared it with Ashley that night, and had planned on sharing with Sharon on Thursday. Unfortunately, my plans were derailed when instead of sitting down to a heart to heart when I went out of my room to find her that afternoon, we went and gathered around my car as she asked me what had happened to it. I had not noticed it Wednesday night, because it was the passenger side, and it was 11p when I had gotten home that night. The insurance adjuster said it looks like a truck backed into it with the corner of their bumper. And of course they didn’t bother to come tell me they hit it. That’s why insurance is important! The repairs are estimated at $1,100! It’s ridiculous! In good news, the headlight still works, so I have time to find a good place. Amanda’s father has a friend in Dallas that does things like this, so she’s trying to find out if he’d be able to do it for me.
I went to breakfast with Amanda on Saturday and shared my verse with her, and when I got home for our time, the family was at the table eating lunch. After lunch, the kids were playing in Davis’ room and Sharon, David and I were sitting around the table while Sharon was beginning to catch me up on Elevate. As she was talking, we all began to talk about how expectant we were for this week, and how we were just so excited to find out what God has in store for each of us! As she was talking, I was reminded that I had never shared my verse with her! I happened to have my Bible in my hand from my time with Amanda, so I pulled it out and told them the story of Wednesday night, and then read them the verse. About halfway through it, Sharon started quietly chuckling. I was quite shocked, and if I’m being completely honest, quite upset that she was laughing at me. David had just been nodding his head the whole time and said, “That’s great!” when I finished. I looked over at her and asked her why she was laughing, and she said, “Flip over to 43 and read verses 18 and 19.” I did, and as I was reading them, I began to chuckle. By this time, David was completely confused, and so Sharon asked me to read them aloud.
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.”
Are you chuckling with us yet? If not, you should be! :) The verses are almost identical. She went on to explain that she had gotten her verse during her quiet time on Monday. We all quickly decided that God is definitely moving, and preparing us for the path He has made for us! And we’re all obviously on the same page (in a manner of speaking ;) ), so whatever He has coming for all of us, there will be peace in the decision.
Excitement Abounds!
Ed is proposing to Amanda next Saturday, January 31st! And we get to be there for it! :) He’s proposing at the tennis courts at Baylor (the love to play tennis, and God told him that was where he was to propose), and all of us – LifeGroup members, friends and family – are going to come out of the shadows with those candles they use during candlelight services at church with the little paper wax-catcher thing on them. When she sees us coming out with the candles, in his mind’s eye, she’s going to look at us, asking what’s going on, and he is going to drop to one knee, so that when she turns back to him, he has the ring out and proposes!!! :D
Needless to say, I’m pretty stoked about that! :D I don’t know if I could be much happier if it was my own fairy tale! :) Sometime I will have to write their story for you! :) It’s great!
One More Thing…
Right before we left for Christmas in Georgia, Davis had Samantha help him rearrange his room one afternoon, and they put his bed against the wall that he and I share. I thought he was doing it just to open his room up and have more space, but soon found out differently.
The first night, I was awakened ALL NIGHT LONG as he thrashed and flailed about the bed – I’ve always known he’s a rough sleeper, but I’ve never shared a wall with him before! – and would crash into the wall! The first time it happened, I thought someone was trying to break into the house and I about had heart failure. I soon got used to him smacking into the wall as he is sleeping, and now when it wakes me – the 4 or 5 times a night it happens - I just roll over and quickly go back to sleep.
Came back from Georgia, and had to readjust myself to the crashing.
The second night back, I was sound asleep when I heard knocking. I quickly reached for my phone and saw that it was 1:37a. I couldn’t figure out who would be here at that hour, and then became paranoid that someone was outside my bedroom trying to get in before I realized that if they were going to harm me, they probably wouldn’t be knocking… (yes, I know you’re probably shaking your head and laughing at me right now! :P But you have to remember that I had been awoken from a sound sleep, to knocking!) I got up the nerve to answer my door, and when I did, there was no one there. So I laid back down. I had gotten to the point where I was almost back asleep and it happened again. Three consecutive knocks. I opened my door, only to find that, once again, no one was there. By this time I thought I had lost my mind, and was just having a horrible dream. The third time it happened, I was on a mission. I went slowly walking down the hall, and as I got to the end, saw all kinds of light streaming out from under Davis’ door. I opened it to find him sitting up in the middle of his bed, with the overhead light on. I asked him if he had been knocking, and he informed me that three knocks meant, “Get In Here!” Of course I had no prior knowledge of this, so I had been delayed in my response.
This happened 5 nights in the first two weeks I was back. He said that he was having awful nightmares. I would go in, turn the overhead light off, tuck him back into bed, lay hands on him and pray. I never asked what the nightmares were, because I didn’t want him reliving them.
So far, this week it hasn’t happened at all. He has slept soundly and only crashed into the wall 2-3 times each night versus the 4-5 it had been. So we’re making improvement! :) When I go to pray over him, part of my prayer is always that God will put His angels shoulder to shoulder in a circle all around the bed. When I pray that, that is when he starts to relax, and he’s out a very few seconds later.
So, if you think about Davis, just lift him up, We’re going on one week! Let’s go on to two! Then a month! And then a forever! :)
God can do it! :) We just have to trust Him for it! :)
I love you all!
I wrote this 1/21 as a “note” on Facebook. It clearly shows my heartbeat, and I wanted to share it with you.
So...sitting here, I just came to the realization that there are some people that were born into my life - people that are a part of my world, by genetics only. People that could care less whether I live or breathe. People that can go for years without talking to me - and when they do find that they have to talk to me, only skim the surface, never caring to ask real questions about my life, or what's happening.But it's all gonna be ok! :)
BECAUSE...
God has given us friends to make up for that! Friends that I have stronger bonds with than 90% of my family. Friends that have gotten to know me on a more intimate level in the past years, months or even weeks, than some of my family members will ever know about me. In a way, I guess that's sad. But on the other hand, coming to that realization has totally freed me.
Now I truly don't have to worry what they think about me: Am I too country? Am I too fat? Am I too "spiritual?" Am I too willing to hang out with the kids, and not have "grown up" conversation? Am I too unfashionable? Am I too me? And maybe I am all those things...but you know what? God made me to be exactly who I am - so I'm gonna be that person with every fiber of my being! And if it offends some people? Then they weren't meant to be a longstanding part of my life anyway. I'll still love them. I'll still bless them. And I'll still pray for them. But I'll do it "from afar."We absolutely CANNOT allow ourselves to get so wrapped up in trying to please everyone else, that we forget who we truly are - who God made us to be. Cause one day, all the "fun," money and status is going to fall away, and all we're going to be left with is the cold hard reality of who we really are. We won't be able to hide behind our popularity, our bank account, our well-stocked closets, or thousands of surface friends - we'll be held accountable for the lives we changed; the cashier at the store that we blessed by smiling; the child that sees love for the first time when you give them a hug after they've had a hard day; the man that has lost everything, that has been treated as a nobody by society for so long - you smile at him, give him a coat and invite him in for a meal; the woman who is raising her children alone, and has no one to look after them - you open your home to them, and social and racial walls are broken down - not to mention the deep hurts that are repaired.
I've learned a lot in the past 7 months. God has done an awesome work in my life, and I am praying that He continues to mold me and change me. I praise God that He has given me a chance to change! That He never gave up on me! That He allowed me to see the error of my ways while I'm still young so that I can be the change for my family! So that my future children will start day one with the knowledge that ALL people are children of God, and we should treat them as such! We are called to be the Hands and Feet of God on this earth! So let's walk out in it!!!
World Mandate Prayer Rally
So the church had three days of corporate prayer and fasting from Monday to Wednesday that culminated in a prayer rally that was held on Wednesday night. At least 1,500 people gathered last night at the church to seek the face of God, to experience corporate and individual breakthrough, as well as miraculous healing!
Oooooooooooooooh! God is good! :)
Sharon and I got to be a part of an awesome healing moment! :)
The service was set up in such a way that we worshiped and pray all throughout. We would have 3 or 4 songs, and then Jimmy (the pastor) would come up and present a prayer topic. And then we would pray. Sometimes we would pray in groups of two or three, other times we would pray individually, but my favorite was when we prayed with “one voice” – if you’ve never experienced this, and have the ability to get a group of people together, DO IT!!! :)
“One Voice”
It’s probably a pretty simple concept…and all of you probably already know what I’m talking about. But I had never heard of it before, nor have ever been a part of it until recently, so I’ll explain :)
Everyone is giving a topic to life up in prayer, and it is done in “one voice.” Meaning that EVERYONE prays OUT LOUD at the SAME TIME! The power of the Spirit is sooooo awesome in those moments – almost to the point of being totally overwhelming!!! The coolest part is that as you are praying, there is just a dome of prayer all around you and you know that the throne of Heaven is being flooded by the prayers of the Saints!!! :) How freeing is that?!?!?! :D
You know you wanna try it!!! :D So go for it!
Prayer Rally, Part II :)
So anyway, we were praying through different things in preparation for this weekend, but also individually seeking God’s face on things that we were expecting breakthrough in.
One of the prayer topics was on healing – physical, emotional and spiritual. They invited those that had had physical problems for many years, and especially those that had terminal diseases to come to the front to be prayed over by the healing team. Those of us not on the prayer time and not seeking physical healing were asked to gather with 2-3 people and pray for the healing to come in those at the front physically, but then to lift up the emotional and spiritual needs as well. Sharon and I had just turned to one another to begin praying when the lady in front of us (the lady is Donna. She is an older lady that we all first connected with this summer when we all went to The Feast together. Then come to find out, she is also in Elevate PM with Sharon and David. She is an absolutely precious woman that was dealt a pretty rough hand – but she has persevered and overcome! And she is constantly giving ALL glory to the only One that could have turned her situation around! :) - turned around, grabbed Sharon and said I want you to pray for me. Apparently she has had arthritis for many years, and it has pained her greatly – especially in her knees. This summer she went on a mission trip and when she left the states, she was hurting so badly that she had to rely on a cane to help her get around. By the time she got back, due to the prayers of the people on the team with her, she no longer needed the cane, but the pain wasn’t completely gone. Through the ensuing months, she’s had several people pray healing over her, and her right knee has been completely healed, but her left knee is causing her major pain, and hinders her ability to just full out run with everything God has put in her heart! So, she wanted prayer last night, and wanted us to pray that the left knee would be completely healed! She had faith it was going to happen, and so did we, so we got down to business!
Sharon and I put our hands on her swollen knee, and began praying. Commanding healing and asking that God would touch Donna in new and miraculous ways. The first time we prayed, Donna was standing up with her left leg propped up in the chair, and Sharon and I were kneeling around it. While we were praying, all of a sudden, she yanked her leg down started jerking it up and down, and said, “It bends! I can bend it! It doesn’t hurt so bad any more!!!” She was ecstatic and so were we! :) But the healing wasn’t complete!
What I’ve Learned Regarding Praying for Healing
1. Never close your eyes. Always be watchful of the person’s overall well being and the specific site you are praying for. Major things happen sometimes, and you surely don’t want to miss out on what God has to show you! :) And while healing is going on, the Holy Spirit is in the person in an extremely powerful way, and you never know how He will manifest Himself! So you have to be ready to ease the person down if they start getting unstable.
2. It’s ok to stop your prayer! :) The Holy Spirit understands that we are not perfect, and therefore do not have a perfect line of communication between here and Heaven. So, we need to frequently stop praying and ask the person what they are feeling, if the pain has moved or changed, lessened or worsened, etc. The more information we get, the more pointed and effective our prayers can be! :)
3. If change is occurring, keep praying! If you pray for a few minutes, stop and ask the person what they are feeling, and the pain has changed in any way, you know for sure that the Spirit is moving, so pray again! We go through this cycle until healing is complete, or there is no change occurring!
4. It’s good to ask the pain to go away, but it’s also ok to command it to get gone! “In the name of Jesus, we command this pain to be gone!” How powerful is that? :) And He wants us to do that! Because it takes a ton of faith to say it, and He wants us to be continually building our faith!
Prayer Rally, Part III
So, she sat down on the chair, and Sharon and I once again knelt around her and had our hands on her knee. In this new position, it wound up that one of my fingers was crossed across one of Sharon’s. We began praying, thanking God for what He’d already done, but asking that He come more. Petitioning Him to not only minister to Donna’s knee, but to minister to her heart and mind as well! And it was incredible! We looked up at her, and she was in another world with her savior! You could see it all over her face! She was positively glowing! We didn’t feel overwhelmed to keep using words, so we simply sat and held her knee, while watching her bask in the glory of God, and keeping an eye on her knee. When we started, her knee was absolutely huge, fiercely swollen! As we say there watching it, the coolest thing happened: it started to deflate! :D It wasn’t some fast thing that went “whoosh!” Instead, it was extremely slow, like someone was pulling apart the opening of a balloon that had been blown up but not tied off yet! It slowly began to go down, and as we watched, the finger of mine that had just barely been on Sharon’s went further and further onto it! :) It was incredible! God is gooooooooooooooood! :D
Healing in the House!
So…in the midst of telling all about my airport adventure at the beginning of the month, I totally forgot to tell about the excitement I got to experience in Georgia!
December 27th was a Saturday and Marcia’s birthday. Mama and I were going to take her out to dinner that evening, but that day I was craving a lazy, post-holiday, do absolutely nothing that you do not absolutely have to do kind of day! :) So we watched a Christmas movie I had taped off LMN, read, and then took a nap! :) When I woke up, Mama had already gotten up, gotten ready and was getting ready to iron her clothes. I jumped in the shower, and as I came out of the bathroom, Mama was making pain-filled noises, and was all hunched over the ironing board. I asked her what in the world was wrong, and she said that her side/stomach had been killing her since she had woken up, and at this point it was causing so much pain, she told me that Marcia and I were just going to have to go by ourselves.
***If you know Mama at all, you know that it was completely out of character for her to even be acknowledging that she was in pain, but for her to say that she was going to stay home! Why that was just too much!
By this time, she was sitting on my toy box, doubled over, and kind of rocking back and forth. I held my hand out to her and told her to put it where the pain was. She told me she wouldn’t be able to stretch out until she was lying down, so she hobbled, doubled over across the house and got on her bed. She put my hand on the pain, and was pressing it pretty hard, so I just kept the pressure there after she let go. I prayed that God would heal her, but then prayed that if it was something that truly needed medical attention, that He would make it even more unbearable, so that my stubborn mama would know beyond the shadow of a doubt that she needed to get to the hospital.
I stopped and asked her how it felt, and she said she wouldn’t know without walking. So she got up and started walking around the room, pressing on her side, but not saying anything. I finally started probing, and she said that she didn’t know if it was still hurting a little because there was still pain there or if it was all the pressure that had been applied to that spot causing soreness. She started to leave the room to go back and iron her clothes and I quickly stopped her in her tracks explaining about our “if God’s moving, keep praying” motto. So I got her back and prayed thankfulness over what He had already done but that He would even remove the soreness if that was what was causing the left over pain, and that He would complete the healing!
I stopped again and said, “Well…?” She wasn’t saying anything, but was pushing on her side, and walking around the room, and the she headed across the house. I jum’ped off the bed and followed her and said, “Well?!?” again. She turned and said, “It is completely gone! It doesn’t hurt AT ALL!”
How exciting!!! :)
Part II
On Saturday, 1/10, we had company over. It was Sharon’s cashier from WalMart, her husband and her daughter. After dinner, the kids and I played Monopoly in Davis’ bedroom, and the adults talked in the living room. They stayed until almost 9, so when they left, I was getting the kids ready for bed (Davis normally goes to bed at 7:30, and Samantha goes to bed at 8:00 – so this was really late for them!), as Sharon and David were cleaning up in the kitchen. I had gone into the bathroom to take out my contacts, wash my face, and brush my teeth, when Samantha is at my door doing a play-by-play telling me how Sharon just popped a blood vessel. Then she tells me what it looks like and that apparently it hurts a lot cause Sharon keeps “squinching up” her face and saying, “This really hurts!” By the time I got out, everyone was gathered in Davis’ room for bedtime prayer, but also to take a gander at the burst blood vessel. :) (Yes. We ARE easily amused! lol) She just kept repeating over and over that it really hurt, and how she didn’t know a burst blood vessel could hurt so much! (by the way, it was on the palm of her hand – can’t remember which one now… - in that fleshy area right below her thumb. I finally got it and asked why we weren’t praying healing for it. She jumped on the wagon, and the kids and I laid our hands on it and began petitioning! Davis prayed, then Samantha, then Davis again and then Sharon. We stopped and I said, “Well…?”
***If you haven’t noticed, that’s my question of choice when praying for people I know. Cause they know what I’m asking, instead of me having to try and probe it out of them! :D
She just smiled and said, “No more pain.”
I took the prayer of thanksgiving, and then Samantha and Davis began to tell us how the color had moved out of her hand and disappeared as they sat there and watched it – Sharon and I openly admitted that we had shut our eyes – force of habit – and so we missed it! But it was truly awesome!
See! God wants to meet us in ALL areas of our lives! Not just in the HUGE things, but in the little things as well! He wants us to be completely dependent on Him! He wants us to cry out to Him when we go to the doctor and he tells us we have cancer, or when we try to walk through the dark house and stub our toe! He wants to meet us in EVERY situation! Nothing is too trivial with God! It blesses His heart to bless ours! Don’t rob either of you of that blessing!
Walk out in the faith! And if you don’t feel like you have much! He’ll meet you in that too! He will restore the faith you’ve lost! And He’ll give you more! All you have to do is be truly open, and ask!
World Mandate 2009
This weekend (1/23-1/25), Sharon, David, Samantha, Davis and I – along with 3,000 others will be gathering at the Ferrell Center – it’s where they have their basketball games - here on the Baylor campus. We are expecting God to show up in MIGHTY ways! We have expectant hearts, that we will all have clarity for the future spoken over us. We’re ready, broken, hungry and waiting, but most of all we’re expectant!
Join us in that prayer! If you happen to think about us anytime in the next 4 days, please just ask that God will bring us to a place where all we hear is Him. Where He is constantly speaking to and through us! Praying for our openness and receptiveness!
Speaking of Clarity…
At LifeGroup each Wednesday, they pass around a clipboard that we put our name, any prayer or praise requests we have, and our VIP – which is a person we are praying salvation for. This list is emailed to all of us so we can lift one another up through the week. My prayer request last week was “Clarity” – plain and simple.
As we stood up and began to worship, Ashley came over and spoke into me. When she left I knew that I needed to journal what she said, so I sat down to do that. While I was writing, I heard “42:9.” I didn’t know what it meant, so I just jotted it down in the margin, and kept on writing. In a few more minutes I heard “Isaiah,” and added it to my note. I finished journaling, and looked it up. Here’s my verse:
“See the former things have taken place, and new things I declare; before they spring into being I announce them to you.”
In the moment I read that verse, I felt peace. Because what God said to me through this verse was this: Vanessa, don’t be anxious. Look at all I have already done in you. Look how far you’ve come! More is coming! Good stuff is coming! The future that I have planned for you is coming! I won’t just spring it on you, you’ll know ahead of time! You will have time to prepare and adjust! :)
Yeah, I know…my God is good! :D
So I shared it with Ashley that night, and had planned on sharing with Sharon on Thursday. Unfortunately, my plans were derailed when instead of sitting down to a heart to heart when I went out of my room to find her that afternoon, we went and gathered around my car as she asked me what had happened to it. I had not noticed it Wednesday night, because it was the passenger side, and it was 11p when I had gotten home that night. The insurance adjuster said it looks like a truck backed into it with the corner of their bumper. And of course they didn’t bother to come tell me they hit it. That’s why insurance is important! The repairs are estimated at $1,100! It’s ridiculous! In good news, the headlight still works, so I have time to find a good place. Amanda’s father has a friend in Dallas that does things like this, so she’s trying to find out if he’d be able to do it for me.
I went to breakfast with Amanda on Saturday and shared my verse with her, and when I got home for our time, the family was at the table eating lunch. After lunch, the kids were playing in Davis’ room and Sharon, David and I were sitting around the table while Sharon was beginning to catch me up on Elevate. As she was talking, we all began to talk about how expectant we were for this week, and how we were just so excited to find out what God has in store for each of us! As she was talking, I was reminded that I had never shared my verse with her! I happened to have my Bible in my hand from my time with Amanda, so I pulled it out and told them the story of Wednesday night, and then read them the verse. About halfway through it, Sharon started quietly chuckling. I was quite shocked, and if I’m being completely honest, quite upset that she was laughing at me. David had just been nodding his head the whole time and said, “That’s great!” when I finished. I looked over at her and asked her why she was laughing, and she said, “Flip over to 43 and read verses 18 and 19.” I did, and as I was reading them, I began to chuckle. By this time, David was completely confused, and so Sharon asked me to read them aloud.
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.”
Are you chuckling with us yet? If not, you should be! :) The verses are almost identical. She went on to explain that she had gotten her verse during her quiet time on Monday. We all quickly decided that God is definitely moving, and preparing us for the path He has made for us! And we’re all obviously on the same page (in a manner of speaking ;) ), so whatever He has coming for all of us, there will be peace in the decision.
Excitement Abounds!
Ed is proposing to Amanda next Saturday, January 31st! And we get to be there for it! :) He’s proposing at the tennis courts at Baylor (the love to play tennis, and God told him that was where he was to propose), and all of us – LifeGroup members, friends and family – are going to come out of the shadows with those candles they use during candlelight services at church with the little paper wax-catcher thing on them. When she sees us coming out with the candles, in his mind’s eye, she’s going to look at us, asking what’s going on, and he is going to drop to one knee, so that when she turns back to him, he has the ring out and proposes!!! :D
Needless to say, I’m pretty stoked about that! :D I don’t know if I could be much happier if it was my own fairy tale! :) Sometime I will have to write their story for you! :) It’s great!
One More Thing…
Right before we left for Christmas in Georgia, Davis had Samantha help him rearrange his room one afternoon, and they put his bed against the wall that he and I share. I thought he was doing it just to open his room up and have more space, but soon found out differently.
The first night, I was awakened ALL NIGHT LONG as he thrashed and flailed about the bed – I’ve always known he’s a rough sleeper, but I’ve never shared a wall with him before! – and would crash into the wall! The first time it happened, I thought someone was trying to break into the house and I about had heart failure. I soon got used to him smacking into the wall as he is sleeping, and now when it wakes me – the 4 or 5 times a night it happens - I just roll over and quickly go back to sleep.
Came back from Georgia, and had to readjust myself to the crashing.
The second night back, I was sound asleep when I heard knocking. I quickly reached for my phone and saw that it was 1:37a. I couldn’t figure out who would be here at that hour, and then became paranoid that someone was outside my bedroom trying to get in before I realized that if they were going to harm me, they probably wouldn’t be knocking… (yes, I know you’re probably shaking your head and laughing at me right now! :P But you have to remember that I had been awoken from a sound sleep, to knocking!) I got up the nerve to answer my door, and when I did, there was no one there. So I laid back down. I had gotten to the point where I was almost back asleep and it happened again. Three consecutive knocks. I opened my door, only to find that, once again, no one was there. By this time I thought I had lost my mind, and was just having a horrible dream. The third time it happened, I was on a mission. I went slowly walking down the hall, and as I got to the end, saw all kinds of light streaming out from under Davis’ door. I opened it to find him sitting up in the middle of his bed, with the overhead light on. I asked him if he had been knocking, and he informed me that three knocks meant, “Get In Here!” Of course I had no prior knowledge of this, so I had been delayed in my response.
This happened 5 nights in the first two weeks I was back. He said that he was having awful nightmares. I would go in, turn the overhead light off, tuck him back into bed, lay hands on him and pray. I never asked what the nightmares were, because I didn’t want him reliving them.
So far, this week it hasn’t happened at all. He has slept soundly and only crashed into the wall 2-3 times each night versus the 4-5 it had been. So we’re making improvement! :) When I go to pray over him, part of my prayer is always that God will put His angels shoulder to shoulder in a circle all around the bed. When I pray that, that is when he starts to relax, and he’s out a very few seconds later.
So, if you think about Davis, just lift him up, We’re going on one week! Let’s go on to two! Then a month! And then a forever! :)
God can do it! :) We just have to trust Him for it! :)
I love you all!
January 2009
Georgia On My Mind…
Wow…when I left Texas on 12/19, headed to Georgia, I never thought 17 days would fly like they did. It was a wonderful trip, and I had so much fun getting to catch up with everybody, and spend time with all of you outside these newsletters!!! :D
I will be totally transparent here and say that I am having an extremely hard time with going back – as I write this, I am still in Georgia. I know it is God’s will that I go back to Texas, and because of that, I will get on the plane tomorrow with a grateful heart because of His covering – but it won’t be without a touch of sadness knowing that it will be quite some time before I see all of you again. I can’t even begin to put into words just how much you all mean to me – I carry you in my heart always, and knowing that you all are out there praying for me, makes it easier to continue on the path that God has for me in this season.
Texas-bound…
Monday, 1/5
I was set to head back to Texas, with a flight leaving Atlanta at 11:35 EST, landing in Dallas at 1:05 CST. I arrived at Hartsfield with a heavy heart and a heavy load (my suitcase weighed in at 66.7lbs – the rest of the luggage story will come shortly) promptly at 10a to start my day in the airports! Woohoo! :P
I stepped up to the check-in counter, and the gentleman checked me in and went to throw my suitcase up on the belt, nearly throwing out his shoulder in the process – in all fairness to me, I had warned him that it was quite heavy, but obviously he thought that he was a muscle-man and could easily handle it :)…he quickly dropped it back on the ground – not that he got it up very far to begin with and told me that it had to be weighed. He guessed that it weighed 80lbs – when I picked it up that morning I said it was probably 100lbs! lol :) But when he put it on the scale, it was only 66.7lbs! So…he asked me if I could take 16lbs of my luggage out of my suitcase (if I could get it to 50lbs, it would only be $15, instead of the $50 it would be for over 50lbs). I kindly informed him that if I could have taken 16lbs out of my suitcase, it wouldn’t be in there to begin with – and what he doesn’t know, is that this is the very least of my luggage! I left Texas on 12/19 with one medium sized suitcase and 1 very small duffle bag/toiletry bag thing. When Sharon, David and the kids drove back, I gave them the medium suitcase, the duffle bag thing and a large tote – all filled tight as a tick! Then Marcia – my aunt – graciously allowed me to have her extra large suitcase to pack what was left at the house. Unfortunately, there was still too much stuff, and because I had one very large item I wanted to send back, I decided to ship it to myself. So…we went to WalMart and got the largest packing box we could find – it was not marked as a mailer, but as a moving box – and stuffed it to overflowing (we used 2 rolls of packing tape to cover the box because it was bulging all over the place). It weighed in at 35lbs (I think that’s right) and should arrive later this week.
Before I explain all that I had with me when I arrived at the airport, I first have to make sure you know that until yesterday, I have always been a model flyer! :) I always empty my purse – I always make sure it is a small purse - so that only my wallet, flight info and one book (for passing time) is in it. I never wear a coat, because it just adds bulk and you have to continuously take it on and off. I never carry on a second bag – suitcase or otherwise – because I have seen way too many people fighting with their luggage, and holding up everybody else on the plane! I always put a Ziploc bag in my pocket and put my jewelry in it before going through security, so it will all stay together, and I can just drop it neatly in my bin. I always wear shoes (usually my Birkenstock-esque shoes) with socks so I can easily slip off my shoes for security, but don’t have to walk on the nasty floor with my bare feet. And I make certain that my shoes and purse are small enough that they can both fit in the same bin so I only have to use one!
Unfortunately, this was not the case yesterday.
Due to the absolute stuffed nature of my suitcase, I was forced to wear my winter coat and my most bulky shoes – so I had on my very heavy, black wool coat and my tennis shoes. Then, due to the absolute stuffed nature of my suitcase I had to carry additional items in my purse and my laptop bag (yes, because I worked from home while I was in Georgia, I had to take all my stuff with me, and therefore had a second carry on bag for the first time EVER!). I had to carry my new oversized purse with me, packed to the gills – just for fun yesterday afternoon I weighed it, and it was a little over 10lbs!! And had to use every extra millimeter of space in my laptop to put stuff.
So I arrive at the check in counter, wearing my heavy coat, with my overstuffed laptop bag on one shoulder, my overstuffed purse on the other, and dragging my overstuffed suitcase (praise God for rolling suitcases) behind me. So why the man even asked if I could throw out 16lbs is beyond me! :P Did he not think that if I could have gotten rid of some of the stuff I had that I already would have?!?!? :) After I told him that everything had to go, he offered me a box to put 16lbs in so it would be a second “suitcase” instead of just an oversized one – if the first suitcase is under 50lbs, you pay $15, and then the second suitcase is $25, which would have brought me to $40. I opted to pay the $10 difference, and not have to unpack my suitcase at the ticket counter! :) If I had repacked, I would have been there all day, trying to figure out the best way to repack everything so things wouldn’t shift a lot, break, leak, etc.
We finally got everything squared away (he put two “HEAVY! BEND WITH YOUR KNEES! ADDITIONAL ASSISTANCE MAY BE REQUIRED!” stickers on my suitcase! Lol), and off I went to security.
I arrived at security, and proceeded to stand in line, taking my jewelry off and putting it in my Ziploc, balancing on one leg while untying and taking off my shoes and switching my carry on bags back and forth, so I could go ahead and take my coat off, and got my laptop out of the laptop bag, so I’d be right ready to dump everything in the bins!
I finally reached the bin, my purse went in the first one. My laptop went in the second. The laptop bag went in the third. My shoes, Ziploc bag of jewelry, and my winter coat went in the fourth. I have never in my life! So I finally got through security, quickly grabbing all my stuff out of the bins and moving out of the way so I could load this pack mule back up! :P
When I finally made it to my gate at 15 minutes to 11 – the flight was to board at 11:05 – I happily fell into the first open seat, and called Mama to check in. While I was talking to her, they came over the intercom and informed us that there was “weather” in Dallas, and that our flight was being delayed until 12p. I continued talking to Mama, and got off the phone a little after 11. I saw that I had a voicemail, so I dialed in to check it, and a recording informed me that my flight from Dallas to Waco had been cancelled, and to call an 800 number to reschedule my flight – normally this would not be a big deal, but I needed to be back at the house last night by 5, so I could be here with the kids while Sharon and David went to class. I quickly called the number, only to have the lady inform me that the two other flights going from Dallas to Waco that day were both completely full, and I would have to wait until today to get out of Dallas. I kindly told her I would find another way, and got off the phone. I first called Mama, because I needed to vent, and then called Sharon so we could strategize. By the time I got in touch with her, we had boarded the plane and were almost ready to push back from the gate. She offered to call the shuttle company that David had used one time when he was out here before we moved. So I gave her all of my flight information, and she said she’d have an email waiting for me when I landed in Dallas.
We got off the ground around 12:15EST and the flight was pretty good until we got about 30minutes from Dallas. Then we began dropping and popping back up, and tilting side to side – it was NOT much fun (and I usually enjoy losing my stomach on rides and planes – but not when it is over, and over and over and over again). We landed around 1:25 (CST) and sat on the tarmac until right at 2 – the “weather” in Dallas was freezing rain, and the plane at our gate had frozen wings that were having to be attended to before they could leave and we could pull in. They finally gave up on that gate and sent us to another.
I knew that the first item on my agenda was to figure out how to get my suitcase – since I wouldn’t be flying on to Waco, I would like to have my suitcase with me when I left Dallas. I went up to the counter, explained my situation, and the lady informed me that all the flights from Dallas to Waco for yesterday had been cancelled and that there was no way to get my luggage – they would simply send everyone’s luggage on flights to Waco as they could fit on the plane as soon as they were able to send planes. That didn’t sit well with me, because everything I own in way of getting ready was on that suitcase, and there was no set time that I would be getting it back.
I left her and called Mama to vent a bit. I got off the phone with Mama and decided that I would try one more time. By this time, I was down in the baggage claim area, and saw a desk that said “Baggage Services.” I figured that was what I needed, and I headed over. He instructed me to follow these 5 guys that were walking through baggage claim toward the ticket counter, cause he said they were after their luggage too.
I followed them, and when I got over there, found that they were all together, and on a business trip from Atlanta coming to Waco. The leader of their pack reminded me a whole lot of my father, and was demanding that miracles happen, cause he wasn’t leaving without his luggage, and he was leaving before 5p – they got a rental van and were going to drive to Waco. He took me on as one of his own, and did not relent until the crew chief of luggage for the American Eagle flight line was contacted and he promised that he himself would find our luggage and send it up to us. The lady had to send our information over to him – describing our bags and such – and then had to cancel the flights we had automatically been moved to for getting to Waco today. There were 6 of us, I was the last one to go, and it took about an hour to get all of that done. I arrived over to the new baggage claim area around 3:25, and was getting quite antsy. The shuttle would only be available to me until 4, and so that suitcase needed to shoot on out of that thing and onto the little carousel quickly! :)
I walked in and found a nice wall to hold up right in front of carousel B20 – where we were told they were sending our luggage. As I was standing there, I got the feeling that I was supposed to walk around the carousel, going against the flow, 7 times. I had already been praying my little heart out, so I took this as a sign, and began walking against the flow, around the carousel and prayed with all my being. I kept telling Him that I knew He knew right where my suitcase is, that I knew He didn’t need any crew chief to find it and that He could pick it up and drop it right on the ground in front of me if he wanted to! J I also made sure He remembered that I had to have my suitcase and be on that shuttle by 4, or I was going to be spending the night in Dallas. On my 5th lap around, I noticed a bag in a bin on carousel 21. I walked over and inspected it and realized it belonged to one of the guys I had been with. I took it over to him, and then went back to walking. On my 6th time around, the belt on B21 started moving and just as I finished my 7th lap, my suitcase shot out of that little hole and onto the belt it came! I jumped up and said “Thank you Jesus!” I looked down at my phone, and it was 3:39! :) He’s good! I went outside and called the shuttle guy to let him know where I was.
He picked me up at 4 on the nose, and then there were 2 other ladies we had to get. It was an 11 seater van, and we had 11 people! We were all so cramped in with luggage, bags, purses, and people – and we had 2.5 hours to ride. He stopped at a really nice gas station/everything you could ever need store at the 1.5 hour mark and let us out for a 15 minute break. We got back in and arrived at the Waco airport – where most of our cars were – right at 7p. I jumped out, drug my suitcase over to the car, through it in the trunk, through my carry on junk into the passenger seat and took off to the church to pick up the kids – they were entertaining themselves in another room until I could get there to pick them up!
Praise God, I finally made it home! :)
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Unfortunately…
Since you all just saw me for almost three weeks, there isn’t a whole lot I can tell you that you don’t already know…
Oh! Oh! Oh!
I do have one thing! :) After this story, I promise to stop typing and allow you to go back to whatever it was you were doing before I interrupted your day by sending you my 3 page rambler! :)
“It’s ok to be sad…”
Sunday was my last day to see anybody, as we would be leaving the house early Monday morning to head to the airport. Mama was sick, and could not go to church because she was coughing her head off and thought she would disrupt the entire service if she were to go. I arrived at church, and, per my request, they started “You Are Amazing” – it truly is the best song I’ve ever heard, and one day I am gonna luck up and find it somewhere so I can listen to it EVERY DAY!!! Unfortunately, the minute the music started for the song, my eyes began to leak, and my heart felt like it was going to break. I knew I was at the end of the road, and would be heading back, and at this time have no set plans on our next trip to Georgia. I was sad. Completely and utterly sad. And then I began to feel bad about feeling sad, because I know Texas is where God wants me right now, and I know I am supposed to be here for the kids, and for me! So I was just in a bad way! And the worst part of all, was that I wasn’t even able to sing along with my most favorite song in the entire world! :(
As I was standing there, heart breaking and eyes leaking, a calmness passed over me, and it felt as though someone was standing behind me with their arms firmly wrapped around me and holding me close. And in my heart’s ear, I heard, “It’s ok to be sad.” And as we began to have this conversation in the depths of my heart, I began to understand why it is ok for me to be sad.
You see, it is ok for me to be sad about having to leave behind those of you I love so dearly, because what He allowed me to realize is just how blessed I am that He has given me two “homes” – meaning not just the house, but the family and friends that make up “home” for me – that I can go to and feel so completely welcomed! Where I am loved more than I can possibly understand! Where I am completely accepted by those that love me! And where I can pick up right where I left off! :)
The realization was not a magic tear-stopper, but it made me totally ok with being sad. So sad I was. I cried more on Sunday than I have in years…but you know what? I feel totally cleansed! :) And even though, as I said a hundred times, it would have been so much easier to just stay here and not gone back to Georgia…I wouldn’t have changed it for anything! I so enjoyed my time with you! :)
Thank you!
Thank you for loving me…
Thank you for praying for me…
Thank you for encouraging me…
Thank you for allowing me to just be me…
Thank you for not judging me…
Thank you for accepting me just as I am…
Thank you for rearranging your schedule to spend time with me…
Thank you for listening…
Thank you for talking…
Thank you for saying nothing...
Thank you for the hugs…
Thank you for holding me while I cried…
Thank you for singing for me…
Thank you for walking in the cold with me…
Thank you for the cards…
Thank you for your time…
Thank you for being you!
I could never hope to possibly explain just how much each of you mean to me! You have all had some hand in why I am where I am, and the way God has allowed me to experience, and feast on Him since I’ve been here. Please know that you each have a part in that, and I love you so much for everything you’ve done, and continue to do! :)
You are amazing! :D
Juarez…
It hit me a few days ago, that it is only two months until our trip! And I am sooooo excited for what is to come! :) But there’s a lot I have to get done before then, so please being praying that everything will come together!
World Mandate 2009…
Sharon, David, Samantha, Davis and I will be attending World Mandate 2009 January 23-25! You can read about it at www.worldmandate.com and be able to catch the excitement for what we’ll be experiencing!
Sharon and David are expectantly waiting for God to speak to them as to what the next step in their journey is, and I think we’re all hoping that before that weekend is over, that we’ll have some vision for what is to come – for all of us! So please join us in that prayer!
The End…finally! ;)
Thank you very much for sticking with me this far! I hope you’re having a blessed day, and will continue to follow after God with everything you have!
Catch the vision! ;)
Wow…when I left Texas on 12/19, headed to Georgia, I never thought 17 days would fly like they did. It was a wonderful trip, and I had so much fun getting to catch up with everybody, and spend time with all of you outside these newsletters!!! :D
I will be totally transparent here and say that I am having an extremely hard time with going back – as I write this, I am still in Georgia. I know it is God’s will that I go back to Texas, and because of that, I will get on the plane tomorrow with a grateful heart because of His covering – but it won’t be without a touch of sadness knowing that it will be quite some time before I see all of you again. I can’t even begin to put into words just how much you all mean to me – I carry you in my heart always, and knowing that you all are out there praying for me, makes it easier to continue on the path that God has for me in this season.
Texas-bound…
Monday, 1/5
I was set to head back to Texas, with a flight leaving Atlanta at 11:35 EST, landing in Dallas at 1:05 CST. I arrived at Hartsfield with a heavy heart and a heavy load (my suitcase weighed in at 66.7lbs – the rest of the luggage story will come shortly) promptly at 10a to start my day in the airports! Woohoo! :P
I stepped up to the check-in counter, and the gentleman checked me in and went to throw my suitcase up on the belt, nearly throwing out his shoulder in the process – in all fairness to me, I had warned him that it was quite heavy, but obviously he thought that he was a muscle-man and could easily handle it :)…he quickly dropped it back on the ground – not that he got it up very far to begin with and told me that it had to be weighed. He guessed that it weighed 80lbs – when I picked it up that morning I said it was probably 100lbs! lol :) But when he put it on the scale, it was only 66.7lbs! So…he asked me if I could take 16lbs of my luggage out of my suitcase (if I could get it to 50lbs, it would only be $15, instead of the $50 it would be for over 50lbs). I kindly informed him that if I could have taken 16lbs out of my suitcase, it wouldn’t be in there to begin with – and what he doesn’t know, is that this is the very least of my luggage! I left Texas on 12/19 with one medium sized suitcase and 1 very small duffle bag/toiletry bag thing. When Sharon, David and the kids drove back, I gave them the medium suitcase, the duffle bag thing and a large tote – all filled tight as a tick! Then Marcia – my aunt – graciously allowed me to have her extra large suitcase to pack what was left at the house. Unfortunately, there was still too much stuff, and because I had one very large item I wanted to send back, I decided to ship it to myself. So…we went to WalMart and got the largest packing box we could find – it was not marked as a mailer, but as a moving box – and stuffed it to overflowing (we used 2 rolls of packing tape to cover the box because it was bulging all over the place). It weighed in at 35lbs (I think that’s right) and should arrive later this week.
Before I explain all that I had with me when I arrived at the airport, I first have to make sure you know that until yesterday, I have always been a model flyer! :) I always empty my purse – I always make sure it is a small purse - so that only my wallet, flight info and one book (for passing time) is in it. I never wear a coat, because it just adds bulk and you have to continuously take it on and off. I never carry on a second bag – suitcase or otherwise – because I have seen way too many people fighting with their luggage, and holding up everybody else on the plane! I always put a Ziploc bag in my pocket and put my jewelry in it before going through security, so it will all stay together, and I can just drop it neatly in my bin. I always wear shoes (usually my Birkenstock-esque shoes) with socks so I can easily slip off my shoes for security, but don’t have to walk on the nasty floor with my bare feet. And I make certain that my shoes and purse are small enough that they can both fit in the same bin so I only have to use one!
Unfortunately, this was not the case yesterday.
Due to the absolute stuffed nature of my suitcase, I was forced to wear my winter coat and my most bulky shoes – so I had on my very heavy, black wool coat and my tennis shoes. Then, due to the absolute stuffed nature of my suitcase I had to carry additional items in my purse and my laptop bag (yes, because I worked from home while I was in Georgia, I had to take all my stuff with me, and therefore had a second carry on bag for the first time EVER!). I had to carry my new oversized purse with me, packed to the gills – just for fun yesterday afternoon I weighed it, and it was a little over 10lbs!! And had to use every extra millimeter of space in my laptop to put stuff.
So I arrive at the check in counter, wearing my heavy coat, with my overstuffed laptop bag on one shoulder, my overstuffed purse on the other, and dragging my overstuffed suitcase (praise God for rolling suitcases) behind me. So why the man even asked if I could throw out 16lbs is beyond me! :P Did he not think that if I could have gotten rid of some of the stuff I had that I already would have?!?!? :) After I told him that everything had to go, he offered me a box to put 16lbs in so it would be a second “suitcase” instead of just an oversized one – if the first suitcase is under 50lbs, you pay $15, and then the second suitcase is $25, which would have brought me to $40. I opted to pay the $10 difference, and not have to unpack my suitcase at the ticket counter! :) If I had repacked, I would have been there all day, trying to figure out the best way to repack everything so things wouldn’t shift a lot, break, leak, etc.
We finally got everything squared away (he put two “HEAVY! BEND WITH YOUR KNEES! ADDITIONAL ASSISTANCE MAY BE REQUIRED!” stickers on my suitcase! Lol), and off I went to security.
I arrived at security, and proceeded to stand in line, taking my jewelry off and putting it in my Ziploc, balancing on one leg while untying and taking off my shoes and switching my carry on bags back and forth, so I could go ahead and take my coat off, and got my laptop out of the laptop bag, so I’d be right ready to dump everything in the bins!
I finally reached the bin, my purse went in the first one. My laptop went in the second. The laptop bag went in the third. My shoes, Ziploc bag of jewelry, and my winter coat went in the fourth. I have never in my life! So I finally got through security, quickly grabbing all my stuff out of the bins and moving out of the way so I could load this pack mule back up! :P
When I finally made it to my gate at 15 minutes to 11 – the flight was to board at 11:05 – I happily fell into the first open seat, and called Mama to check in. While I was talking to her, they came over the intercom and informed us that there was “weather” in Dallas, and that our flight was being delayed until 12p. I continued talking to Mama, and got off the phone a little after 11. I saw that I had a voicemail, so I dialed in to check it, and a recording informed me that my flight from Dallas to Waco had been cancelled, and to call an 800 number to reschedule my flight – normally this would not be a big deal, but I needed to be back at the house last night by 5, so I could be here with the kids while Sharon and David went to class. I quickly called the number, only to have the lady inform me that the two other flights going from Dallas to Waco that day were both completely full, and I would have to wait until today to get out of Dallas. I kindly told her I would find another way, and got off the phone. I first called Mama, because I needed to vent, and then called Sharon so we could strategize. By the time I got in touch with her, we had boarded the plane and were almost ready to push back from the gate. She offered to call the shuttle company that David had used one time when he was out here before we moved. So I gave her all of my flight information, and she said she’d have an email waiting for me when I landed in Dallas.
We got off the ground around 12:15EST and the flight was pretty good until we got about 30minutes from Dallas. Then we began dropping and popping back up, and tilting side to side – it was NOT much fun (and I usually enjoy losing my stomach on rides and planes – but not when it is over, and over and over and over again). We landed around 1:25 (CST) and sat on the tarmac until right at 2 – the “weather” in Dallas was freezing rain, and the plane at our gate had frozen wings that were having to be attended to before they could leave and we could pull in. They finally gave up on that gate and sent us to another.
I knew that the first item on my agenda was to figure out how to get my suitcase – since I wouldn’t be flying on to Waco, I would like to have my suitcase with me when I left Dallas. I went up to the counter, explained my situation, and the lady informed me that all the flights from Dallas to Waco for yesterday had been cancelled and that there was no way to get my luggage – they would simply send everyone’s luggage on flights to Waco as they could fit on the plane as soon as they were able to send planes. That didn’t sit well with me, because everything I own in way of getting ready was on that suitcase, and there was no set time that I would be getting it back.
I left her and called Mama to vent a bit. I got off the phone with Mama and decided that I would try one more time. By this time, I was down in the baggage claim area, and saw a desk that said “Baggage Services.” I figured that was what I needed, and I headed over. He instructed me to follow these 5 guys that were walking through baggage claim toward the ticket counter, cause he said they were after their luggage too.
I followed them, and when I got over there, found that they were all together, and on a business trip from Atlanta coming to Waco. The leader of their pack reminded me a whole lot of my father, and was demanding that miracles happen, cause he wasn’t leaving without his luggage, and he was leaving before 5p – they got a rental van and were going to drive to Waco. He took me on as one of his own, and did not relent until the crew chief of luggage for the American Eagle flight line was contacted and he promised that he himself would find our luggage and send it up to us. The lady had to send our information over to him – describing our bags and such – and then had to cancel the flights we had automatically been moved to for getting to Waco today. There were 6 of us, I was the last one to go, and it took about an hour to get all of that done. I arrived over to the new baggage claim area around 3:25, and was getting quite antsy. The shuttle would only be available to me until 4, and so that suitcase needed to shoot on out of that thing and onto the little carousel quickly! :)
I walked in and found a nice wall to hold up right in front of carousel B20 – where we were told they were sending our luggage. As I was standing there, I got the feeling that I was supposed to walk around the carousel, going against the flow, 7 times. I had already been praying my little heart out, so I took this as a sign, and began walking against the flow, around the carousel and prayed with all my being. I kept telling Him that I knew He knew right where my suitcase is, that I knew He didn’t need any crew chief to find it and that He could pick it up and drop it right on the ground in front of me if he wanted to! J I also made sure He remembered that I had to have my suitcase and be on that shuttle by 4, or I was going to be spending the night in Dallas. On my 5th lap around, I noticed a bag in a bin on carousel 21. I walked over and inspected it and realized it belonged to one of the guys I had been with. I took it over to him, and then went back to walking. On my 6th time around, the belt on B21 started moving and just as I finished my 7th lap, my suitcase shot out of that little hole and onto the belt it came! I jumped up and said “Thank you Jesus!” I looked down at my phone, and it was 3:39! :) He’s good! I went outside and called the shuttle guy to let him know where I was.
He picked me up at 4 on the nose, and then there were 2 other ladies we had to get. It was an 11 seater van, and we had 11 people! We were all so cramped in with luggage, bags, purses, and people – and we had 2.5 hours to ride. He stopped at a really nice gas station/everything you could ever need store at the 1.5 hour mark and let us out for a 15 minute break. We got back in and arrived at the Waco airport – where most of our cars were – right at 7p. I jumped out, drug my suitcase over to the car, through it in the trunk, through my carry on junk into the passenger seat and took off to the church to pick up the kids – they were entertaining themselves in another room until I could get there to pick them up!
Praise God, I finally made it home! :)
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Unfortunately…
Since you all just saw me for almost three weeks, there isn’t a whole lot I can tell you that you don’t already know…
Oh! Oh! Oh!
I do have one thing! :) After this story, I promise to stop typing and allow you to go back to whatever it was you were doing before I interrupted your day by sending you my 3 page rambler! :)
“It’s ok to be sad…”
Sunday was my last day to see anybody, as we would be leaving the house early Monday morning to head to the airport. Mama was sick, and could not go to church because she was coughing her head off and thought she would disrupt the entire service if she were to go. I arrived at church, and, per my request, they started “You Are Amazing” – it truly is the best song I’ve ever heard, and one day I am gonna luck up and find it somewhere so I can listen to it EVERY DAY!!! Unfortunately, the minute the music started for the song, my eyes began to leak, and my heart felt like it was going to break. I knew I was at the end of the road, and would be heading back, and at this time have no set plans on our next trip to Georgia. I was sad. Completely and utterly sad. And then I began to feel bad about feeling sad, because I know Texas is where God wants me right now, and I know I am supposed to be here for the kids, and for me! So I was just in a bad way! And the worst part of all, was that I wasn’t even able to sing along with my most favorite song in the entire world! :(
As I was standing there, heart breaking and eyes leaking, a calmness passed over me, and it felt as though someone was standing behind me with their arms firmly wrapped around me and holding me close. And in my heart’s ear, I heard, “It’s ok to be sad.” And as we began to have this conversation in the depths of my heart, I began to understand why it is ok for me to be sad.
You see, it is ok for me to be sad about having to leave behind those of you I love so dearly, because what He allowed me to realize is just how blessed I am that He has given me two “homes” – meaning not just the house, but the family and friends that make up “home” for me – that I can go to and feel so completely welcomed! Where I am loved more than I can possibly understand! Where I am completely accepted by those that love me! And where I can pick up right where I left off! :)
The realization was not a magic tear-stopper, but it made me totally ok with being sad. So sad I was. I cried more on Sunday than I have in years…but you know what? I feel totally cleansed! :) And even though, as I said a hundred times, it would have been so much easier to just stay here and not gone back to Georgia…I wouldn’t have changed it for anything! I so enjoyed my time with you! :)
Thank you!
Thank you for loving me…
Thank you for praying for me…
Thank you for encouraging me…
Thank you for allowing me to just be me…
Thank you for not judging me…
Thank you for accepting me just as I am…
Thank you for rearranging your schedule to spend time with me…
Thank you for listening…
Thank you for talking…
Thank you for saying nothing...
Thank you for the hugs…
Thank you for holding me while I cried…
Thank you for singing for me…
Thank you for walking in the cold with me…
Thank you for the cards…
Thank you for your time…
Thank you for being you!
I could never hope to possibly explain just how much each of you mean to me! You have all had some hand in why I am where I am, and the way God has allowed me to experience, and feast on Him since I’ve been here. Please know that you each have a part in that, and I love you so much for everything you’ve done, and continue to do! :)
You are amazing! :D
Juarez…
It hit me a few days ago, that it is only two months until our trip! And I am sooooo excited for what is to come! :) But there’s a lot I have to get done before then, so please being praying that everything will come together!
World Mandate 2009…
Sharon, David, Samantha, Davis and I will be attending World Mandate 2009 January 23-25! You can read about it at www.worldmandate.com and be able to catch the excitement for what we’ll be experiencing!
Sharon and David are expectantly waiting for God to speak to them as to what the next step in their journey is, and I think we’re all hoping that before that weekend is over, that we’ll have some vision for what is to come – for all of us! So please join us in that prayer!
The End…finally! ;)
Thank you very much for sticking with me this far! I hope you’re having a blessed day, and will continue to follow after God with everything you have!
Catch the vision! ;)
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