Victory, Vivaldi and Vanessa :)

Where to begin... :) As usual, I sit here with an overflowing heart...and don't have a clue where to start! :)


So...on July 8th, The Lynn's packed up and headed out for their tour of the south, not knowing exactly when they would return (David came back on August 9th - he had stuff he has to get done for school...and Sharon and the kids should be arriving sometime tomorrow morning). They were barely here a week after they arrived home from Thailand, until they were gone again!


Of course, they left the day after we all found out about the 24:14 thing, and I was trying not to dwell on the decisions I thought I had to make, and instead decided to go into denial, and pretend like I didn't have to think at all about the future for a while! :) After I sent the email to you all letting you know I needed your prayers, I simply put it all to the back of my mind, and figured I'd return to it at a later date. :)


After they left, I began to fill my hours with work, praying that time would pass very quickly until the 17th - which is when Mama would arrive! :D Of course, after she got here, I prayed that time would pass very slowly while she was here - I didn't want her time here to go quickly! :) We had a wonderful time visiting, and thoroughly enjoyed our time together! :) We even got to drive down to San Antonio for a few days to enjoy the Riverwalk and Sea World (two things I have been wanting to do since last summer when people started telling me about them!!!)! :) Our hotel was on the Riverwalk, and it was all incredibly beautiful! :) Loved EVERY minute of that trip! :) Then we came back and hung out around Hewitt! I got to cook for Mama almost every night, and I thoroughly enjoyed that - it's just not much fun cooking for one, you know... So I took FULL advantage of having someone else around to cook for! :)

Mama returned home on Sunday, July 26th. To say I had a hard time after she left would be putting it mildly. I threw myself into work all day, and then came home at night to Spooky. He was the only person in my world outside of work at that time. I wasn't on the phone that week, I wasn't emailing or blogging...I just was. I kept asking God why He would make me stay here when I was so longing to just pack up and go home. Then when He wouldn't answer that, I would plead with Him that if He was insisting on me staying here longer, to please allow me to enjoy it like I used to! But NOTHING was happening! I was far from enjoying life here, and I didn't feel like He was releasing me to begin packing my bags and heading for home.

So on we went. On that Tuesday, in the midst of my searching for an answer as to what I was supposed to do, location-wise, for my future, I felt God put something on my heart. He told me that we were going to sit down, and we were going to compile a list of the qualities that exist in my future husband. He made it clear that this was not a list for Him, but instead was a list for me - so that when men come along, I will not be trying to cram them into a spot in my heart, but will instead go to the list He has provided me, and I will know that I am to move right along. I didn't really see why this was necessary during this very frustrating week, but He was talking, so out came the paper and pen, and the written list was born. My eyes were opened wide as I read over it when it was finished, and I realized just how different the things that went on His list were, compared to what would have gone down if it had been my list. In a strange twist of things, I awoke the next morning, and the first thing on my mind was the list. I was reminded of what it represented - the man God made to live, walk and grow alongside me - and I felt an overwhelming desire to pray for this unknown man. I prayed for him that morning, and it has been the first part of my morning ever since then. I know that for some people, it is normal to pray for their future spouse...not so for me. I have always thought it was a really sweet idea, and at times throughout my teenage and young adult years, it has crossed my mind, so I have prayed for him. But this has just been different. An urgency that I have never felt before, and there have been specific things to pray for. I pray for him each morning as my eyes open and God puts him on my heart, but then different times during the day, he'll be brought again to my mind. It's just been incredibly interesting. So...on a lighter note, I'm just praying that God has had him praying as hard for me as I am for him! I sure could use the extra prayers! :)

***I have another note to write on the above, and a vision God gave me for me and the book while Mama was here (that I have shared with several people, and God has already used), but I think it is for another blog. So stay tuned! :) If I get really inspired, I might type it up tonight after Spooky and I return from our evening walk. :)

I continued on with my imploring of God to give me an answer for my future location, but I didn't feel like I was getting anything, and so that Saturday night, I was done. I called Mama and left her a message (it was around midnight, Georgia time, if I recall correctly), begging her to pray that some kind of resolution would come. I was at the end of my rope, God hadn't given me any answers, and I felt quite abandoned. I was sick all that night, and didn't get much, if any, sleep. I felt like Jacob wrestling God. And I just wouldn't let it go. Even though I was hurting, I kept hanging on with everything in me. Finally, early that morning when I was completely spent - physically, emotionally, spiritually - I uncurled my stubborn fingers, and that, of course, is when He met me.

Which catches you up to the last blog, in which I gave you the answer to my imploring.

Since then, I have felt it confirmed that I will be leaving Texas on the 30th of January. He pushed it almost to the very last moment of His timeline! :) So typical... Lol! :D

So, now to explain the title of the blog. :)

Victory. Victory has come all over the place in little ways where God has really been working on some areas of my life that I didn't even have any idea needed working on. As usual... :) He has redeemed things, and brought about much change and growth! Hallelujah! :) But of course, the biggest victory goes to God - not only for the very obvious things, but for the mere fact that He finally got this very stubborn girl to let go, and truly let God! :) Thank you, God, for your never-ending patience!!!

Vivaldi. I have always had a soft spot for classical music. It tended to drive Mama crazy when I would play it, because she didn't really enjoy it all that much - and that's an understatement... :) I am by no means a connoisseur, and I other than the very obvious compositions, I wouldn't be able to tell you the composer of any pieces. But I love it. And until recently, I have never had a full grasp on why. I have been playing Vivaldi's "Four Seasons" over and over and over, and I get it now! When I listen to classical music, I am able to sense God in every note. In every movement. In every breath between beats. He is everywhere. And the creative mind He has given me is not boxed into someone else's words within the music, but instead, I have simply been given the music, and I am able to dance with God all through the piece, on my very own! :D Isn't it incredible?!?!?! (Of course, I still enjoy my other favorites - most of which are played on the blog - just as much as I always have, but now I have an understanding of why my heart sometimes just craves classical music!) :)

Vanessa. That's me! :) An A+ for you, if you already figured that out! :) But more than that, it's the person God made me to be. Not a version of myself that I have concocted so that I might people-please to the best of my ability, but the version that God knew of before He spoke the world into being! :)

Finally, God has given me a list of things that I am to focus on in the Word in my last months here, before returning home. They are as follows:
1. Who are we in Christ? (simply speaking as a child of God)
2. Who am I as a woman in Christ?
3. Who am I as a (one-day) wife?
4. Who am I as a (one-day) mother?

Then:
5. What is the foundation, cornerstones and building blocks of a Godly marriage?
6. What is the basic make up of a man/husband/father who is running after God with all his heart?

So far, I have been doing a whole lot of Bible reading. I started in Ephesians, then went on to Proverbs 31... Boy! Was that an awesome morning! :)

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Proverbs 30:31

I'll tell you honestly, I have read that chapter many, many, many times, and every time I've read it, I have felt like a complete and utter failure. I mean, holy cow that woman has a lot on her plate! I don't know how she ever finds time to sleep! And to be perfectly honest, she does a lot of things I don't care one iota about doing, and other things that are the beat of my heart are mentioned no where in her description. I only read it the morning I did, because God told me to, and I knew I wasn't gonna get a moment's peace until I did it. And thank God, I did! Because I hit that verse, and my world flip-turned upside down! I have read it and heard it so many times before, but never had it hit me so hard. Fear the Lord, and it all comes together. Everything else falls into place when you let Him take over completely! WooHoo! :)

Since then, I have been diving into Psalms. And it has been INCREDIBLE!!! My eyes have read it all so many times before, but I feel like this is the first time my ears and heart have been truly tuned in and listening!!! :)

Alright...I think you all are officially caught up! :) For now... :D

I love you! :)